Compensation in Autism

You can reclaim your youth anytime.

The 80s were my childhood years, how cool they were yet not being able to make the most of them: little to nothing was known of Autism/ADHD back then, at least in the school system.

But music helped me.
Although clubs and concerts could be overwhelming, I transformed my room in a state-of-the-art discotheque complete with mixer and psychedelic lights.
I’m not sure of the neighbors response, I didn’t budget on the volume still, they occasionally visited my home-studio.

I became kinda deejay celebrity in my neighborhood.

Despite my particular taste for Glam/Goth rock with David Bowie as role-model, I never refused guests’ requests and they always left happy.

I feel like going clubbing without fear now.
I may be up to something.

I’m not manic, I just want to reclaim my lost youth.

God loves me and knows when the most suitable time for me is. 

Age has lost its societal definition in the digital era.

Bowie said in one of his last interviews that the digital age has just landed, he passed in 2016 ndr… he would be 76 today and had no intention to retire.
I’m sure God wanted him badly. He s believed to have formally converted just days before dying. All his songs contain references to God.
There’s plenty of testimonies on the therapeutic properties of his music.
He was the Mozart of rock.

This whole article is to highlight the autistic ability to carve their alternative compensating spaces.

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Time in ADHD

Eternity is how the ADHD brain lives up to the Time. 

God created the Universe and humankind in the form of Man and Woman. He connected us to Light and Darkness through the Circadian rhythm, daylight to keep us awake, night-darkness to rest. We created Time, He created Eternity. Does Time exist in Eternity? Eternity is how the ADHD brain lives up to the Time. Like Autism, are we talking of Neurodivergence or Disability? The Church teaches that switching the day for night deliberately is going against God s Design. On the other side, those who work at night for the good of others- emergency workers, hospital staff…- have a special place in the heart of Jesus.
When Science and Faith meet.

Time is my worst nightmare.
Time-management is the main obstacle in ADHD.
Practically, there is no Time for ADHDERS.
Pressure is the definition of Time in ADHD.
Sufferers take actions under pressure, a contributing factor to hyperactivity and quick response.
While this is an advantage in emergency situations, it doesn’t work in organizational strategies. 
Organizing requires Calmness and Thinking, which are time-dependent in nature.
Without medication, ADHDERS hardly stay calm. 

‘To-do lists’ don’t work for me, the stereotypical therapeutic model for ADHD.
I remember my schedules.
Motivation and Reward are my driving tools in addition to stimulant medication.
Journaling is my daily Reward and Relaxation.
I look forward to Journaling, my Sympathetic Nervous System reminds me, no need for lists.
I  ‘appoint’ on my agenda dreaded deadlines only.
As the name implies, Deadlines are always a burden to all, yet inevitable and often forgettable.
To say, everybody suffers from ADHD to a certain degree.

That said, my way of coping with Deadlines is dissecting them into Lines, dedicating a small portion of time every day to them in a monthly format, in so doing, removing the “deadly” component.




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Passion vs Obsession

The stigma wants that all autistics think the same. That is correct as in the way we think, though most of us have one specific field of expertise, what Mental Health professionals refer to as  ‘One-way neuronal pattern’.

A blessed new week to all.
I hope…

As you know, I’m still stuck in the weekend on Monday.
As I’m still stuck in the weekdays on Saturday.
Change in routine is definitely an issue in Autism…

Today I’m thinking of a name for my channel.
Ideas are plentiful, but you can’t imagine the unavailable titles! Or is it that all autistics think the same?! 
Well, it is known that Aspergers tend to obsess on a specific subject, David Bowie in my case. His music speaks to me, literally. And I m not alone apparently…

So this is going to be a musical blog I guess.
How does music impact your life?
I can’t live without it, I express myself through music.
There s a Bowie song for each state of mind of mine.
I grew up in the 80s with him.

I’ll continue my discussion on music and David Bowie.

First of all, I want to say that I m a Christian, meaning I don’t worship anybody outside God. I believe God speaks through people and art.

Bowie speaks to me.

However, I love all music.

As an 80s child, I was inevitably influenced by Bowie.

I identified in him and most of today s music means nothing to me. Now, don’t get me wrong: this is not a blog about Bowie, but how he impacted me.

You should know that Mental Illness ran in his family. In one of his lyrics, he sings ♪ I had so many breakthroughs! ♪

His life ran along mine. Bowie would only write from real experiences, from his tragic childhood to stardom and addictions in the 70s.
Although I wasn’t around in the 70s, I did extensive research.
I know pretty much everything on Bowie.

Are we talking of passion or obsession?
What s the difference?

Neurotypicals would talk of the former for themselves and the latter in Autism…but is it not the same???

Again, is Autism a kind of personality or illness?

What we know for sure, is that society values homogeneity and shuns diversity. Unless you’re an artist, ironically.

Bowie was called ‘the Master of transformation’! And sold millions of records!

That being the case , would debunk the whole ‘diversity theory’ for the ‘success theory’: if you re rich and famous, diversity is praised. If you’re poor and unproductive you’re shunned… and when I say “unproductive” I mean different, not lazy!
Laziness is unknown to autistics! Add the co-morbidity of ADHD with Autism and you ll notice immediately the discrepancy… have you ever seen a lazy ADHDer???

The reality is that many people still deem short attention-span as laziness.
Not to mention the 80s when teachers didn’t have any Mental Health training.
I endured all sorts of abuse at the hands of teachers!

But back to music. 
I apologize for the small outburst.

It is scientifically proven that music enhances memory and emotions.
So how does it affect autistics?

Writing in the rain.
The air is so saturated that my brain can’t get the right amount of oxygen.
I’m literally hyperventilating in order to stay focused for writing. My ADHD doesn’t help and so do meds.
I apologize in advance for any mistake.
I’ll discuss Weather and Autism in a separate blog.

Are passion and obsession ‘states of mind’?
They are to me.
And I don’t see anything wrong with it: I can listen to David Bowie all day.

That causes a lot of friction with my wife, a Bowie fan herself… needless to say that s an Obsession to her resulting in arguments.

The following is our stereotypical reaction:

　“What’s wrong with you? You like David Bowie!” Me
　“As far as it doesn’t become an obsession!” Wife
　“I love him! What do you mean by Obsession?” Me
　“A negative State of mind!” She
　“Like what???” Me
　“Loss of interest in different things!” She 

Reluctantly I change music for her benefit although not understanding what a ‘State of mind’ is to neurotypicals.

I’d like to hear from you.

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Environment and diagnoses

We know that the brain is the factory of emotions, but can natural elements take a toll?

I previously mentioned Weather as a state of mind.
I believe it is. 
Every person experiences weather differently, some like cold, some hot, some rain, etc.

I fancy mild sunny days. 
I don’t mind gentle rain, though I dread humidity.
Destiny wants that I live in a very humid country. 

Needless to say, Winter is my most suitable time.
My body doesn’t perceive cold during freezing bright sunny days . 
I’m supposed to go into hypothermia with short-sleeves in 5 C temperatures, whereas I m perfectly comfortable in the sun. 
Same temperature at night, I shiver!

Is it the same with emotions? I mean, are they environmentally conscious?

Autism could be the way we react to our circumstances.

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Full-time autistic solo travelers

Exploring the many facets of Novelty and Rewiring.

People change from time to time.
Could Rewiring be time-sensitive?

In order to elaborate Rewiring, we can’t omit Attachment and Leaving.
Autists get easily attached to things because they become part of routine.
By relocating overseas, we can’t pack everything in our luggage.
Shipping is the only option although costs far exceed the real value of goods.
The action of choice is taking the essential while put on auction extra stuff.
Once relocated, it is much cheaper buying brand new furniture.

Good news for most neurotypicals always on the outlook for the latest inventory.
Not so much for change-reluctant autists however, I have no alternatives.
I try to concentrate on the most appealing opportunity to go home.

I am coming to the conclusion that working on Adaptation is the best way of self-Rewiring.
Unless it’s the same process.

Now as promised before, I ’ll examine the connection between traveling full-time and escaping.

Escape is the last stage of depression. The implications are very unpredictable, a way of gambling with life.

Escape is used, if not synonym, for desperation.
Mental health professionals don’t stand the chance with escapism.
Psychologists describe this vicious circle as “feeling trapped “, the last stage of suicide.

We are our best doctors, after all…

I feel trapped in Japan since the advent of Covid.
This day marks 4 years from the last time I visited my country.
I m reaching rock-bottom.
I always wait for the best circumstances to make a move, an outdated line of thought, the future is no longer predictable in this relentless Artificial Intelligence day and age.
Every day is a new beginning.
The new philosophy is ‘living to the day’.
Success is happening to be in the right place at the right time.
In other words, gambling with life.

That would be the rational thinking behind the autistic full-time traveler.
The bothersome commonality which I have found in these persons is the hatred for their place of origin.
This scores high enough for Escapism.
Escape always comes down to an end.
I love traveling with the security of a base, though I would never go to a blind date.

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ASD/ADHD Despair

Foreign environment can help in the short term for PTSD related issues. In the long run, it can take its toll even more so in autism.

I m disheartened.

I want to leave this place. 
The desire is stronger by the day.

I m exhausted and scared.
And lonely. I feel so lonely!

I can’t do anything alone. I rely fully on my beloved wife. And my faith.
She can sense my tension.

Taking a break.

Recovered emotionally to a certain extent.

I always have Radio in the background whilst I work.
Silence causes me anguish whereas music relaxes me and makes me more productive.
Radio is also my only connection with my country.
So many memories…

I believe if one could go back in time, they will make all different decisions.

Back in the day, I thought relocating overseas would prove beneficial to me.
Well, not in Asia. Not in mid-life. 
You never really settle as an autistic expat.
We need our territory.

The more you age the more territorial you become.

For autistics, territory is very much geographical rather than roomy.
In fact, my room has become my prison since I work from home.
For now…

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ASD/ADHD Patience

Back in my day, Mental Illness was a shame and hardly addressed by
families. Early intervention is paramount. Still nowadays, there is a lot of stigma but advocacy too. Let’s break Mental Illness Stigma together!

I can’t wait to have my business up and running.

Today I m more motivated though drained from yesterday’s paralysis.

I have so many worries, my wife doesn’t even know.

Sometimes I d like to talk with friends though she disagrees because my friends are her friends too. She doesn’t want to show my flaws to them.

These are the barriers in marriage between a neurotypical and a neurodivergent.

I’ve always wanted to be normal.
I wanted to reach out but my parents stopped me until adulthood out of self-denial.
Too late, I pay the price now.

Take your responsibilities as parents.
Children are not toys.

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