Panic caused by changes to plans for individuals with autism

The panic experienced by people with autism when plans change stems from a deep need for predictability and routine. These provide a sense of safety and control in a world that can feel chaotic and overwhelming. When these established patterns are disrupted, it can trigger significant anxiety, distress, and sometimes panic attacks.

Why Changes Cause Distress

Need for Predictability:

 Autistic people often thrive on structure. Routines act as a script for the day, helping them know what to expect and when, which significantly lowers overall anxiety.

Executive Functioning Challenges: 

Autistic individuals may struggle with executive functions like planning, organization, and shifting focus (mental flexibility). A change in plans requires rapid replanning and adapting to a new sequence of events, which can be cognitively exhausting and difficult.

I need extra help this time of year.

So, another Advent.
As every year, the overwhelm has set in.
I wish I could talk to a Priest, not an option where I live.

Sending Christmas cards is a major issue to me: it takes about a month for a letter, during this busy season, to reach Europe from Asia.
Consequently, I planned with my wife to send Christmas cards last weekend, and she agreed first thing first on Saturday morning.

Saturday morning comes and she tells me of going to the grocery store with her mother one hour or so… bells ringing… turned out all day.
I had a real meltdown.
I couldn’t write any card.

She took on me that I don’t have any ‘flexibility’!

Her justification was her mother asked to visit some relatives.
She wouldn’t bother to call me or pick up the phone either, believing it would have made matters worse.

I had to spend all Sunday in bed to recover, while the cards were not sent.

I’ll leave the judgement to you: is that ‘autistic change in routine’ or ‘neurotypical lack of planning’?