God plans

We subconsciously put undue pressure on each-other in the form of money.

Providence is usually associated with religion, typically referred to as Divine Providence.
Christians dwell in the belief that God has a plan for each one of us.
There is no failure for God.

Why fear then?

Suffering and Poverty are shunned by society, they are not of human nature. God knows it, He became human!
He shouted “Father, why have you forsaken me!” on the Cross.
He endured Suffering.
He never punishes, we punish ourselves.

My greatest joy is watching the sunset on the beach and helping the needy.
God will provide essentials.

I want to live and work in contact with the nature.
I lived all my life in big metropolises to no avail.
Time to go back to the roots.

I have a little house at the sea in an idyllic village.
I can stare at the sea from the window.
That is God’s providence to me.

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Providence

Poverty is always been heavily stigmatized. The poor is often overlooked as the perpetrator of their own demise. Jesus was poor His whole life and taught us to see God in the poor.

Everybody struggles with finances at some point in life.
Financial stress is not necessarily associated with poverty but instability.

Nonetheless, the wealthy are most vulnerable.
A wrong investment can plunge into capital loss, to mention the most common scenario.

The poor, despite struggling, have little to lose and lots to gain, eventually.
Ironically, they turn out less mentally stressed than the rich.

That said, another less known subculture of poverty exists, the indebted.
This group is almost invisible, hard-working, sound looking.

I identify in this group .
It is the most frustrating dimension.
I desperately want to repair for this involuntary slip-away.

I can’t say I m poor. 
I work to pay my debts.

Life must go on.

I can’t foresee my future until debt-free however, I can see God’s providence.


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Trust

Trust requires lots of commitment. We can only trust genuinely by ‘Entrusting’ our neighbor to God who will remove our doubts and misconceptions. By trusting God, we will trust fully our entrusted neighbor. God never lies.

Trust doesn’t come easy.
In fact, it’s not of human nature.

Friendship is our interpretation of Trust, although two different  concepts.
In theory, even our friends, family, can potentially betray us.
The infamous  “They were my best friends” saying, is often associated with betrayal.
When we put our trust in friends without entrusting them to God’s Word, we stand the chance.

I can be respectful of non-Christian friends by praying and eventually evangelizing them before asking/offering Help.
God will show me the right time and person.

In Psychology, Trust is a delusion, it is not in our human genes. Everytime we trust, we’re assailed by doubts and fear.
Real Trust is meant to be Unconditional.
We can only trust God and the people we pray over.

Another expression of Human Trust is ‘Give and Take’, hardly unconditional.
We shouldn’t expect anything in return when we help our neighbor.

I understand this article will be mindless and upsetting to non-religious readers, nor do I want to push my personal agendas online.
I just had the inspiration, a testimonial from an autistic Christian perspective.

I don’t expect anyone to agree or disagree with me.
I just expect Respect.
I welcome healthy debate.

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Depression and happiness

Depression always follows my happiness. Or it could be that I don’t know happiness.

Living is a daily battle.
Happiness does exist though you must battle for it.
Worst of all, it’s never permanent and short-lived.
Would you call that ‘happiness’?
Something you know it will be followed by sadness.

Some will say “enjoy the moment”.
I’d rather say “enjoy life”.

I never experienced true happiness.
I’ve been looking for happiness all my life, to stand correct.

Does looking for happiness make me happy?
Only to a certain extent.
Dopamine outpourings are always followed by crashes.

That compels me to believe that happiness is an illusion.

Everything temporary is not happiness to me.

Only faith in God keeps me going.
He promised us eternal happiness though not in this life.

Why worrying then?
Stop worrying is happiness.

I feel sorry for atheists.
May God have mercy on them.
They are desperately searching.



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Fear reflection/Christmas

Festivities are always hard on autists. In particular, Christian festivals.

It’s no surprise that holidays are overwhelming for autists.

I’m scared of Christmas.

I miss home and the balmy Mediterranean weather.
Christmas 2019 is my last happy memory before Covid hit.

The world will never be like before again.
This pandemic literally changed everything, from people to politics.

My only consolation is hearing from happy people, although Christmas is just spiritual to me and devastating.

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Christmas and OCD

Political instability and increasing cost of life add to Christmas stress.

Christmas and another year, in business jargon ‘dead-ends’, everything but a soothing reminder.

I hoped till the last minute to make it to Europe.

Awareness setting in. 
God is not done with me yet.
At this stage I entrust fully to Him.
There is no time for God.

My resolution from now on is stop counting days and continue to build up my travel business.

God knows when my Time is right. 

We’ll have to change hygienic habits like daily showering between others.

Body wipes are just as effective.
Candles even romantic and relaxing.

Despite the autistic reputation for hating changes in routine, it seems that Neurotypicals are having the hardest times to let go of their daily routine.

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Advent season

 Feeling out of place.

This weekend we enter Advent Season.

I love Christmas but not in a Pagan country.

As usual, this will be the worst time of year to me.

I will argue with my wife for not going to Church.
I will argue for not being in my Christian country on the coast.
I will argue on New Year s Eve, insignificant to me.

Nothing will change until we go back to Europe.

Self-care is overwhelming, though I want to look neat.
I have to force myself in the shower. 

And thinking that shower is soothing for neurotypicals! 

Welcome to a month of hell.


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