Unpleasant Events

Aftermath is a popular synonym of PTSD.

When we endure a traumatic event, we strive to combat.
The aftermath is associated with defeat and PTSD. We never recover from grief, we learn how to live with it.
Mid-life is marked by loss and responsibility.

Whether happy or sad, anniversaries are a thing of the past.

I don’t understand the logic behind anniversaries.
Birthdays are the most eloquent: what’s the point of celebrating the fact that you’re one year older?
I condone the coming of age as reminder of adulthood.
From then on, it is all a downhill.

We must keep track of age for beaurocracy.
I do look forward to my retirement.

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Internet addiction

Technology has gotten out of control. Based on medical data, social media are adding to our anxiety. 

The Internet started with a noble attitude, just to get out of hand. ‘Internet addiction’ has become a diagnosis. I’m assailed by a destructive sense of nostalgia. Life as my generation knew it, doesn’t exist anymore.

Recent studies on teenagers showcase mood-improvements after just two weeks off media.
Governments are imposing strict rules to media giants.

For my generation, only the Past counts: Religion teaches that the Past doesn’t exist anymore, the medical profession sees it in a traumatic context.

Only the future is real these days, the biggest lie.
The future is most unpredictable: ‘predicting’ is never 100% accurate.
Who could predict the Covid pandemic?

There is no Future for me.
I only live in a traumatic Past and a slip-away Present.

Fear of age gripped me since I moved abroad. I never obsessed over age in my country, whilst it has become a painful countdown here.

Before the Internet age, we could spend Summer holidays sleeping on the beach without thinking of tomorrow.
We could stop time.

Nowadays, we want to escape the Momentum, because nothing is still.
We constantly project.

We didn’t have cell-phones in the 80s.
We could only watch the sea and the stars on the beach.
We felt united, free, safe. How many longtime, sincere, passionate love stories enfolded. The sentiment of Belonging as one body was dopamine flowing.
Sure, there was night and day, but the sea and the stars were always there.
Sunrises were soothing reminders of a new worry-free day.

Today, we watch at the phone on the beach.

Texts flashing no stop, leading us mercilessly into the day ahead, all the while scared to turn the phone off.

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Promising-perspectives vs Dream-perspectives in ASD/ADHD

Following up the implications of mid-life in youth society.

Promises and Dreams are very interchangeable.
I endorse to turn dreams into self-promises.

The dreaming effect is only temporary.
Dreams have limitations, I don’t like gambling.
I favour self-promises, certainties, loyalty.

A self-promise is a desire.
Desires are real.
Dreams are momentary illusions.
I promised to myself and God to go home in His time.

Where is it written in the Bible that one must be established by 40?
That’s the neurotypical thinking, good for them.

Why not dying at 40 if we accomplish everything by then?
What’s the point of living to 90-100 as wrecks?
Yes, you heard me right, Wrecks.
That’s what over 40s are for the workforce.

Let’s not say that we extended life.
Over 40s are virtually dead.
Better the Middle Ages, when 40 was the average lifespan.
People didn’t get old and age was seen as wisdom.

I was very disappointed with the radio comments of a pastor about age, saying that we must get old at 50 and prepare for death.

We must always be prepared for death, but not strive to get old.
We must strive to keep young and fit at any age.
Even in the Bible there are references to fitness:
“Stay awake, cause you don’t know the time and hour He is coming!
And wash your face often when you look tired!”

I always feel emotionally young, as result of having been deprived of my biological youth.
I want to outlive my youth now.
Your personality defines age, not your wrinkles, and they will be my most beautiful years.

“Ageing is an extraordinary process where you become what you should always have been.”/ David Bowie 

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80 s Fame Music Stars

Neurodiversity is evidently a ‘requirement’ in the show-business… whether real or staged, what role does Entertainment play in mental health?

I was deeply disturbed by the deaths of Tina Turner and Sinead O’ Connor. Most of the 80 s celebrities have died in the last decade.
Needless to say, they were human encyclopedias of mental illness.

I don’t worship celebrities, I honour the ones who played a role in my life, i.e. David Bowie, Madonna, Michael Jackson…

What role celebrities play?
Entertainment for sure, but not only.

Each celebrity, or ‘icon’ in the music industry, is associated with a particular audience.

The 80s saw the emergence of the Gothic movement.
David Bowie was the pioneer and the inspiration of all 80s musicians.
Peoples who grew up in those days, were inevitably influenced.
Song-lyrics were romantic, sad, reflective.
Dressing in black and purple was trendy between the young.
My generation still lives in that dimension.

Movements are a form of protection.
Gothic clubs for the middle-aged thrive as of today in America.
In Europe, they disappeared.

History repeating itself: everything borne in the Old Continent and move to the New World.

Tina Turner was the exception: she was born in America and moved to Europe in mid-life.
She downplayed her role.

R.I.P.




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States of mind

Managing time is awkward with ADHD/ASD yet inevitable.

Finding the right balance is essential in relationships. Combining time with reward is very powerful in brain neurotransmission.

Time is a State of mind to me.

Man created Time.
God is timeless.
To say that my mind determines Time, I m not a 9 to 5 person.

My definition of Time is Motivation.
Without motivation I can’t do anything.
ADHD Medication becomes indispensable to pave the way to deadlines.

However, I understand that Time is a form of respect too and I try hard to compromise with my partner.

I’ll give an example: I want to post my blogs to date. 
She wants me to post on her platform of choice in her Time, e.g. “tomorrow is better”…. What’s the difference between today and tomorrow once the editing is done???

That’s a major loss of Motivation/Time to me.

Today is one of those days.

But I’m pretty good at compromising by going into ‘compensation mode’: “Ok, I’ll keep Bowie playing all day!” 

And we both end up happy.

So, could Time be a form of Compromising?






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Projection

Living the Present is a great struggle in our fast-paced life. 
Mental Health professionals refer to Projection for Compulsive Planning.

We all project to a varying degree.
However, it turns out that long-term projecting works any good: circumstances change, so do the effects on anxiety.
I ‘m working hard on Projecting, the more I project, the more anxious I become.

The difficulty of living the present is exacerbated by social interactions.
It is not always possible being on the same line of thought, even between husband and wife.
This leads to project.

It’s not easy to make it alone in a relationship.
A good Spiritual Director is vital, personally my Priest.
I pray my wife will listen to him.
Projecting is typically of female nature: the household is still largely managed by women, whereas for most men, house is still synonym of dormitory.
Men are more likely to stand the chance.
I wouldn’t condemn planning in the short-term altogether, provided it doesn’t become Projection.

In essence, Planning is pursuing a realistic path, henceforth boosting productivity.
Projection is an abstract idea, lacking self-esteem and boosting anxiety, in brief, an Illusion.
Unfortunately, they are often perceived interchangeably in the neurodivergent, complicit their thin line.

The good news is that there is a winning strategy for Discernment: Coordination, Prioritization. 
The Neurotypical are not exempt by this subtle mental demise, they know how to separate Planning from Projection by revising a Decision.
To say, it is not impossible for the Neurodivergent to learn the method.

So it goes, according to business-advisors:
Step 1- Allow Planning and Projection to occur interchangeably.
Step 2- Select Priorities to make a realistic Plan.
Step 3- Leave Projection as an hypothetical fostering strategy, once the Plan goes in port.
The process should not take more than 2 hours, or risk interchanging info again.
That is particularly important to avoid Hyperfocus in ADHD.

Although the method was developed for Marketing purposes, it is being tested successfully in psychology.


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Early Autism Diagnosis

Autism can be better managed when diagnosed in childhood. Don’t wait to address your diversity.

Age is a major issue in Autism.

Most people still believe Autism is a childhood condition that eventually will naturally stabilize in adulthood.

Many adult autistics are unaware and undiagnosed.

Teachers knew nothing of Mental Health 40 years ago.
Nowadays teachers are most likely the first to pique up learning disabilities in pupils. 

If not for my wife, I’d still wouldn’t know.
I must have been in a dark, long tunnel, unaware of my own struggles in life.
Receiving the diagnosis brought me some relief, as if each piece of the puzzle were falling into place, helping me to explain the many inexplicable painful feelings I had experienced up until now.

Today I read of an 18 yo autistic girl world-renowned deejay: she only functions with music still, she was diagnosed at 3!

My hope is that a cure for adult autistics will be found asap, as to put an end to the traumatic memories from childhood to torment us.




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Time’s Panic

The Future is Now.

Time in Christianity is the Present, yet we live in the Past and obsess over invisible things like the Future. Planning is legitimate if put in the “Yours will be done” context. There is no foreseeing the future whether you’re religious or not. It’s just a matter of escapism. Don’t build your trap. 

I’m obsessing over time again.

I feel guilty about it as a Christian, but I’m a human.

I want to go home.
I can’t concentrate.

Writing helps and doesn’t: it keeps thoughts at bay yet increases awareness.

I’m looking for the best deal, I m trapped in fear.
Should I take a break?

In fact, I don’t like the word ‘blog’, I prefer ‘journal, article, essay’.
All this Internet slang gradually destroying our mother-tongues.
I wonder what will happen to current languages in 50 years or less. 
I occasionally have difficulty understanding ‘Internet generations’.
Some say “it s the natural order of things”.
I disagree. 
Shall we divide society into decades?
I want to communicate with all age groups.

Age is just a number still, I panick about time.


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Hope

Always set a goal in your life. Goals will save you in your darkest times.

Hope is not constant, some days I lose it all.

Hope is the fuel of life: there’s nothing I can do without hope, what I see as the next step to dreams in a more meaningful perspective.

The bad news is that hope naturally diminishes with the passing time.
There comes the importance of never losing hope.

Destitution and ultimately death are the final stages of permanent loss of trust.

There are countless life-coaching techniques these days, though nothing works without willpower.

As a believer, Faith is my hope, yet there are times when I can’t feel God s presence.

I want to go home.





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Purposes in ASD/ADHD

Finding the right support for autistics is vital. Fear can override us and stop us in our quests. 

Standpoints are supposed to serve Purposes. 

My purpose is going back home in Europe.

Purposes come not without a price: money, economy, family, are just some of the obstacles that keep us stuck.
Procrastination too  gets in the way, preventing from taking action.

Taking decisions is extremely overwhelming for autistics.
Having a Support Team is paramount. 

Reaching out for professional help isn’t easy as an expat.
I can’t give everything to my wife.
I’m tempted and terrified to do crazy things.

Hotlines can only listen.
Embassies and Churches are the only ‘support teams’ for expats.

Is God telling me something?


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