Numbing pain

Numbness is as comfortable as addictive.

Comfortably Numb / Pink Floyd

As I was discussing music as therapy and David Bowie as my favourite artist, I couldn’t dismiss the track’ subject, co-sung with David Gilmoure.
The title ‘Comfortably Numb’ says it all, fully straightforward with little left to imagination.
Quite a rarity for songs, normally written purposefully for free interpretation.
It’s black and white only here, Comfort and Numbness: when we are numb, we are comfortable.
A psychosomatic state, not to be confused with physical paralysis.
In medicine, Numbness is the loss of sensation associated with pain. Doctors use anesthesia to make us numb and comfortable.
When we are numb, we don’t feel any pain.

Music therapy is recognized by the psychiatric profession.

This song is healing.
Numbness is also emotional.
The sad part is David Bowie’s passing.
Sometimes, I question myself if it s right to ‘communicate’ with the dead.
Certainly not, from a religious perspective.
Nonetheless, the track lifts me up, despite stealing me tears every time.


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Spiritual Awakening

I resort to poetry and music when pain is too intense to describe.

‘My Death’, David Bowie. Personified 

♬

My death waits like a Bible truth,
at the funeral of my youth.
So confident, I go His way.

Let’s not think about,
the passing time!

Angel or Devil, 
I don’t care,
for behind that door, 
there is…You!

♬

Pain is never permanent. Our time will come when appropriate. Never stop hoping.

My homeland, my desire.

Our time will come.

Man does not need to see everything.

If only we could stop time.

One door closes, another opens.

It is all in God s hands.

Why worry?

Living physically in one place and spiritually in another is my Cross.

He stands on that Cross.

There’s nothing I shall want.

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Reaching-out

I further explore the benefits of music and faith in this article, through a real-life experience.

Reach-out for Help.

Today I received this call for Help.
Could it be Divine Intervention?
I felt God’s presence guiding me through the entire conversation.
It was a very rewarding day!
I had the opportunity to save a suicidal friend who reached out to me.

I’m not an hotline operator nor a psychologist and under no circumstances I intend to give any kind of professional advice.
Suicide is a serious condition requiring professional intervention.
Only when the suicidal person reaches out to us, it means they put all trust in our listening skills, therefore we must try our best.

Nowadays, people think stilted speech is synonym of high IQ…
Quite the contrary, simple speech in addressing complex subjects is.

Trust, Identification, Music.

I first LISTENED, then IDENTIFIED with him.
Once I gained his TRUST, I sent him music videos of my favourite artist David Bowie which worked magics.
He bursted in tears and thanked me profusely after the tracks.
The aftermath is confidential.

Music therapy and Self-regulation in ADHD.

It is scientifically proven the therapeutic potential of music in activating dormant or misplaced brain circuits.
Also, it has been recently demonstrated the dopaminergic nature of music, dopamine in notes, literally: Music plays the role of Self-regulation between Emotional, Cognitive, Behavioral functions, the 3 properties of Dopamine. 
For this purpose, Music earned itself the medical definition of Catalyst.
As studies continue, we may be up to a blowing breakthrough, anytime soon.

I can’t live without music. 

I’ll keep a close eye on latest research and won’t delay to report new findings.




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Timeless dreaming

Music is having a major breakthrough in Emotional Regulation.

What does the lyric ♫ Your guilt for dreaming ♫ mean to you?

I shall point out that it s from a famous David Bowie’ song entitled Time.
As most of you know, Bowie is my inspiration, role-model and Godsend.
He wrote a song for each state of mind of mine.
“Your guilt for dreaming” means a whole lot to me.
Bowie believed that dreaming is not delusional.
Every achievement starts with a dream.
I often feel guilty of dreaming because I couldn’t realize my dreams, either joining the Military or studying Psychiatry.
I take pride in my job, nevertheless.
The track reminds that dreams have no Time.

Sorrow vs Guilt.

Autistics tend to feel guilty, even if it’s not their fault.
I often mix sorrow with guilt.
That exacerbates badly my ADHD with conflicting emotions.
Music is all I have left when nothing else matters.

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Starman!

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Lack of planning in Autism

Panic caused by changes to plans for individuals with autism

The panic experienced by people with autism when plans change stems from a deep need for predictability and routine. These provide a sense of safety and control in a world that can feel chaotic and overwhelming. When these established patterns are disrupted, it can trigger significant anxiety, distress, and sometimes panic attacks.

Why Changes Cause Distress

Need for Predictability:

 Autistic people often thrive on structure. Routines act as a script for the day, helping them know what to expect and when, which significantly lowers overall anxiety.

Executive Functioning Challenges: 

Autistic individuals may struggle with executive functions like planning, organization, and shifting focus (mental flexibility). A change in plans requires rapid replanning and adapting to a new sequence of events, which can be cognitively exhausting and difficult.

I need extra help this time of year.

So, another Advent.
As every year, the overwhelm has set in.
I wish I could talk to a Priest, not an option where I live.

Sending Christmas cards is a major issue to me: it takes about a month for a letter, during this busy season, to reach Europe from Asia.
Consequently, I planned with my wife to send Christmas cards last weekend, and she agreed first thing first on Saturday morning.

Saturday morning comes and she tells me of going to the grocery store with her mother one hour or so… bells ringing… turned out all day.
I had a real meltdown.
I couldn’t write any card.

She took on me that I don’t have any ‘flexibility’!

Her justification was her mother asked to visit some relatives.
She wouldn’t bother to call me or pick up the phone either, believing it would have made matters worse.

I had to spend all Sunday in bed to recover, while the cards were not sent.

I’ll leave the judgement to you: is that ‘autistic change in routine’ or ‘neurotypical lack of planning’?



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Fear of changes in Autism

Autistics don’t like changes in routine.

How do you deal with change in routine? How is your comfort zone? Does spirituality play a role in your life? Are you more biologically oriented?

How did you start the new week?

Monday is always a challenge to me, though better than weekend.
I’m quite settled Tuesday to Friday.
I only honour Sunday from a Christian perspective.
Faith is my main help and hope.

I also put trust in science: I see my psychiatrist monthly. 
Last week I had my session, he’s a psychoanalytic psychiatrist.
I’m always bit nervous for fear of changing meds.
I wonder which diagnosis is predominant with me, Autism or ADHD…
He says that latest research places ADHD on the Spectrum, I’ve come to believe it. I identify 80% ADHD to date.
The new AuDHD diagnosis would assert the validity of my identity.


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Emotional Roller-coasters in Autism

Roller-coasters is yet another trendy terminology for Life-challenges.

Again, I don’t see anything wrong with ‘challenges’, anyways… even languages are roller-coasters, these AI days.
I wonder if young and old of same nationality will soon need an interpreter, it could be of help in creating new jobs, before AI will lay-off thousands of workers.

“Ah shut up, I’ve been watching too much tv!” used to say David Bowie, the ‘Master of Transformation’ , as he was called back in the day.
Nowadays, he would be called the ‘Master of roller-coasters’!
Forgive the diversion, Sarcasm is necessary, sometimes.

Roller-coasters require lots of self-discipline.

This is very controversial: subjects on ASD are hard disciplined, yet they dread roller-coasters.
They excel financially, most World-billionaires are on the Spectrum.
Conversely, they fare poorly in relationships.
In my humble opinion, they function on compensation: academic and financial achievement makes up for roller-coasters and poor relationships.
They don’t look happy to me, nevertheless.

I’m neither a billionaire nor an academic, though I fare well socially.
I lean more towards ADHD and Bipolar.
Despite envying ASD achievements, I prioritize my social life.
Should I choose between wealth and good relationships, I would go for the latter no doubts.

I want to live with my wife at the sea. We speak the same language of the waves.


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Confusion in Autism

Getting ready is the definition of Preparedness. For some people, it is an exciting practice for the better. For neurodivergents, it is a source of confusion.

Preparedness is a very individualist subject.
We all get ready for an important event, usually pleasurable, like a trip.

Getting ready for the worse has a completely different chemistry which I ll explore in a separate thread.

Preparedness is that situation where multiple emotions are at work, typically Expectation, Changes, Organization, Excitement, Anxiety.
These feelings are exacerbated when an Event is permanent.

Traveling is a multifaceted event for autistics.

We usually associate Travel with Holiday, a temporary Change, henceforth not appealing to autistics.

Business-travel on behalf of Corporations, either to show a project or to sign a contract, is Work.

Relocation is my idea of traveling and likely the most conflicting.
Being a middle-aged expat, traveling takes priority over anything else.
Traveling means Home to expats.
Home is permanent Holiday for every expatriate.
Unless one returns home in retirement, it is indeed starting a second life.
This accounts for conflicting emotions, mainly excitement and re-adaptation.

What happens when emotions clash?

Preparedness is always stressful, though powered by excitement.
Timing is paramount, you don’t get ready to relocate one week before, it’s a yearly process, to say the least.

There is no official medical diagnosis for Clashing/Conflicting emotions.
Research is more supportive of Predominant emotions.
The concepts may look equal at first glance, if Predominance weren’t synonymous with Leadership.
In the Emotional sphere, Leadership is characterized by ‘taking over’, far from Conflicting.
A popular example is Multitasking: the brain is not programmed for multitasking.
The exact mechanism of Multitasking, is the ability of ‘taking over’ multiple options by Selecting the most appropriate.

I deduce Emotions are not in conflict, they are confused.
The associated official diagnosis is ‘Acute/Chronic Confusion’, two distinct disorders as a matter of fact.

As usual, that took some time to research my old Med-school notes, again realising that Libraries retain the most reliable sources.
Youngsters will smirk on me, though I won’t tire of advising lay people from staying off the ‘Medical Internet’ and let Doctors do their job.

These days, people give in self-diagnosing, trusting the Internet more than physical doctors, the foothold of globalization.
‘Emotional Conflict’ is Internet slang, I just found out myself through how subconsciously enslaving and mind-bending Media are.
Support your local libraries! I value them now more than back in the day when served the main Dormitory facility for students.
I’m yet to understand why we appreciate things only when we don’t have them…
That could make it for a future post.

Anyway, why Acute and Chronic Confusion are grouped in a single pathology?
Because distinguishing between Illness and Symptoms is the weakness of Traditional Western Medicine.

I’ll stand correctly.

We know that current medication cures symptoms, not illness. This affects the rationale behind diagnoses.

Confusion is not a illness, it’s a symptom of Delirium and Dementia, primarily.
Impaired Executive Function binds Acute and Chronic Confusion, despite their totally different chemistry: Acute Confusion is a combination of Brain Poisoning from drugs, Injuries, High Fever, triggering Hallucinations and Aggression. Acute Confusion is a psychiatric emergency, Sedation is the only available intervention. The episodes are almost voluntary and related to substance abuse. First Responders don’t stand the chance by immediately restraining and administering intramuscular Narcan as first aid.

Chronic Confusion is a progressive condition.
Mood-Stabilization is the priority treatment. Subjects are not aggressive.
Dementia is an alternative term for Chronic Confusion in popular culture.
The two are regarded independently in Medical, since Chronic Confusion is aggravated by long-term consumption of alcohol and antianxiety medications.

The Emotional sphere is overwhelming.
I conclude this segment by reminding that a Medical textbook will always be more trustworthy than the Internet.




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Respect for Diversity

Nostalgia is oftentimes outlived as Cultural-shock by autistics.

Dwelling in a different culture almost involves a certain amount of Deprivation even for expatriates in search of a better life.
Full integration into a different culture is virtually impossible.
Living a better life doesn’t necessarily mean giving up on one s own culture.
You’ll realize that expats tend to gather within their communities abroad.
I would define Integration as Respect rather than Embrace, despite the similarity.
Respect is honorable. If everyone could exercise Respect, there d be no need for Confrontations.

The human brain is naturally set for Supremacy.

Our Digital Society gives a wrong impression of Respect as in Globalization.

Globalization is Imposition disguised as Respect, an evil scheme carried out by the World Elite, benefiting the Wealthy only.

The Weak go hand in hand with Poverty.

The message is clear: “You need help? Support the Elite, and the Elite will support you.” 
Many poor people have no choice but going against their morals.

The good news comes from an emerging Church-culture, so-called Christian Influencers.

Christian Influencers are young people and clergy who are taking Evangelisation to a new level online, waging a fierce Antiglobalization Campaign.
We are seeing the first signs.
Diversity will be legally protected.
Neurodivergent individuals will finally feel safe as integral part of society.




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International Relationships and Objectification

Latest research suggests that Xenophilia is the result of ‘objectification’ from one or either parties, always unhealthy.

That international relationships require strong commitment is a fact. Neuroscientists deem race-mixing as Objectifying. Although not my case, I can’t hide the discomfort of the statement.

Objectification as in giving up one s culture for the other, a form of escapism rather than love.

The largest number of expatriates from developed countries still accounts for interracial marriages.

We have been deprived of yet the harmonious definition ‘interracial relationships’ for the pathological ‘Xenophilia’.
I bet ‘Behaviour’ will soon replaced by ‘Pathology’.
A pathology is always dysfunctional.

I’m aware of the challenges of interracial relationships, though I ll never see them as pathological.
I met my Asian wife coincidentally in my country when I lost my family and she saved my life.

I never gave up my culture in 15 years of marriage.
In fact, I value my culture even more as an expat.

Scientists should emphasize what the real challenges are.

Xenophilia goes oftentimes hand in hand with Xenophobia.
We have given a bad name to the latter, related to racism.

Modern-day xenophobia is very much the Fear of the host from the expatriates, not hatred.

I hope the term Xenophobia will be wiped out once and for all in favour of peaceful resolutions like interracial relations.
And that neuroscientists would stop pretending to be linguists.

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