Tag Archive for: Age

Masking

In this digital age, Image speaks more than language. Texting is more popular than verbal communication. Appearance is the reflection of our workplace and personality, the first feature taken into account by recruiters or dating partners. The pressure on Appearing has surpassed verbal exchange, complicating conversations and turning personal hygiene into obsessive rituals.

Social phobia is the new pandemic.
Autistics are not exempt, although their coping mechanism differs from the neurotypical.

We all obsess over appearing, these days, something in common once in awhile between neurodivergent and neurotypical! 
Autists try hard to mask, the neurotypical drain themselves with multiple compulsive daily showers and cosmetology.

Both  are wrong in their own fashion, that is not the definition of Hygiene, yet autists are not dirty, nonetheless.
Excessive showering depletes the skin of protective oils, giving an aging look.
If we shower before bed, it’s unlikely that we are dirty in the morning, unless the bed becomes an additional alternative to the gym, prompting us to yet another extra final rinse.

See, we don’t know anymore how to relax by managing time. The average amount of sleep in the middle-aged group is 4/5 hours per night, of course you look a wreck the following morning! So comes another cold shower to wake us up, though the outcome doesn’t get any better.
A vigorous fresh face-washing has the same awakening effect of a shower, hair looks smoother still, we act out of fear to appear.

Masking works in the short-term, despite exhausting, the treatment of choice for autists.

Body language plays a crucial role until the ultimate decision-making takes its toll, or when the mask-mandate comes to an end, time to reveal our true nature.
The outcome is up to us.
We must select our strongholds and we will give the best appearance.
Autistics are extremely selective, a win-win technique.
Don’t mask, be God’s hero.
We all have weaknesses, Accept yourself.

Masking is always a cause of Regret.
Latest therapy works on reversing Regret to Reset in midlife, based on the stereotype that life starts again at 40.
The biggest commercial scam to date, in my humble opinion.

Why waiting 40 years to lower the Mask?
This new approach is a praise for masking successfully in youth.
These  ‘therapists’ obviously are unaware of the discomfort associated to 40 years of masking.
I bet they are New Agers.
They practically deny Youth by giving Middle-age the ‘Prime of life’ s name.
As a middle aged myself, I can testify that the 40s and 50s are the toughest years. I do look forward to 60 however, not by the declassification of youth.

I can figure out the logic behind it, nevertheless: if you’re in midlife, it’s most likely you received an Autism/ADHD diagnosis in adulthood. Plenty of people my generation are diagnosed well in their 40/50 s.
Nowadays, Autism/ADHD are typically detected in the third year of life, ndr.
It is the former group being targeted by Reset therapy.
The theory is, once the damage is done, there’s no way back, but to Reset.
Again, terminology is in constant play. Reset is nothing else than Rewire, just more AIsh conform. I’ll never submit to AI. I’m a human.

I fully support Rewiring from childhood.
Personality normally keeps evolving until 25, after which, Rewiring becomes obsolete.
It is not clear what Resetting will accomplish.
This kind of therapy claims to turn Youth Regret into Pride, which is starting with the wrong leg. It is long established the association of Pride with Masking.

Acceptance is the first step towards recovery, agreed by all traditional Mental Health Professionals.
That prompts the inevitable question, what’s the difference between Pride and Acceptance?
Pride is always forced upon, a fighting state that can collapse anytime and expose Shame.
Acceptance is Pride without Shame and Arrogance.

Turning Youth Regret into Pride in midlife, is Smacking youth, literally.
As if the first 40 years of life were meaningless, in other words, Denying one s youth.
The message is “Life starts just now. You made it to 40, be proud!”

I agree with living in the Present by Acceptance of the Past, NOT Regret.

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Stuck in time

Benefits of music in Brain-Rewiring.

Music is one of the main markers of time.
We all have a special song in our heart associated with the happiest time of our life.

I thought to myself, a beautiful memory, until I was challenged by a musical programme hosted by a middle-aged musician.

I was very touched, since my music-idol, David Bowie, happens to have died in 2016 with my heart s tracks.

Needless to say, music is my medicine.

The radio guest commented that music is in constant evolution and we must evolve either with dead or active musicians.
Fans tend to identify with an artist and are unable to rewire their brain musically.
It is scientifically proven that music can wire up neuronal circuits.

That has dramatic consequences on the music industry and the consumers:
older generations don’t listen to new bands, in turn, new bands have a hard time building base-listenership with teenagers.

I hear all the time from the middle-aged that today s music means nothing to them.
I put myself in between by acknowledging the painful generational divisions.

That said, what is the solution?
Social Interaction.

We didn’t have these generational issues before the social media bubble.
In the 80/90 s we met people by chance in the parks, pubs… we didn’t care about age but sharing, last but not least, music.

I’ll never forget a vibrant 70 years old Beatles crazy I befriended in London Hyde Park in my 20s! He would tell me about the 60’s and I would enlighten him on Bowie.
Guess what: I developed an interest in 60’ society and he started listening to Bowie.

Those were the days!

Media are destroying us.
We re just starting to understand it.
About time.

R. I.P. Jim

I wish I was Jim in 30 years in England talking about Bowie to young people in the park whilst learning about new bands.

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Reminiscences

Reminiscences are afterthoughts of memories. In most cases they are of traumatic origin.

Reminiscences are deep memories that leave a mark, either good or bad.

Memories come and go at any time.

Reminiscences are mostly common from mid-life and stored permanently.
That explains why the elderly better recall the past vs the present.

Another way to look at it, is seeing reminiscences as an afterthought of memories.

It’s virtually unlikely having reminiscences in our teens, those would account for trauma.

Trauma must be treated accordingly thus belonging to an independent category of mental illness, most likely PTSD.

Reminiscing is not a mental disorder.
We all do past 40/50.

I reminisce the late musician David Bowie who passed in 2016 at 69.
I grew up with his music in the 80s.
He s deemed the most influential glam-rock artist of the 70/80s.
His legacy will never end.
There are hundreds fan-groups dedicated to him on all social networks.

Up until his death, I had beautiful memories of his.
After his death, those memories turned into sad reminiscences.

I question myself if it is correct to make departed celebrities live eternally on this earth…
David Bowie withdrew from the public sphere long before his death in 2004 at 57.
He stated of wanting to spend his last years with his family.
He had not stopped touring since the 70s.
He gave enough, he desired some time alone.

In his last track ‘Lazarus’, he sings 

 ♪Look up here, I m in Heaven, everybody knows me now!

Could it mean: “Remember me in Heaven!”…….

R.I.P Starman


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Compensation in Autism

You can reclaim your youth anytime.

The 80s were my childhood years, how cool they were yet not being able to make the most of them: little to nothing was known of Autism/ADHD back then, at least in the school system.

But music helped me.
Although clubs and concerts could be overwhelming, I transformed my room in a state-of-the-art discotheque complete with mixer and psychedelic lights.
I’m not sure of the neighbors response, I didn’t budget on the volume still, they occasionally visited my home-studio.

I became kinda deejay celebrity in my neighborhood.

Despite my particular taste for Glam/Goth rock with David Bowie as role-model, I never refused guests’ requests and they always left happy.

I feel like going clubbing without fear now.
I may be up to something.

I’m not manic, I just want to reclaim my lost youth.

God loves me and knows when the most suitable time for me is. 

Age has lost its societal definition in the digital era.

Bowie said in one of his last interviews that the digital age has just landed, he passed in 2016 ndr… he would be 76 today and had no intention to retire.
I’m sure God wanted him badly. He s believed to have formally converted just days before dying. All his songs contain references to God.
There’s plenty of testimonies on the therapeutic properties of his music.
He was the Mozart of rock.

This whole article is to highlight the autistic ability to carve their alternative compensating spaces.

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