‘Social Jet lag’ is the definition of Exhaustion in ADHD/Autism following social events. Getting ready for expected events is of utmost importance in Autism. Envisioning the predictable alleviates the unpredictable.
I came across an article on Autism/ADHD which consolidated my coping strategies.
Time accounts for a major change in Autism.
Changes are big stressors.
The theory is to be prepared for changes, particularly unexpected ones.
Weather is quite predictable in Asia with two main seasons only: dry and mild Autumn/Winter, damp and hot Spring/Summer.
Still, passing from 6 months of comfortable sunny days to 6 months of rain and humidity doesn’t leave many chances for the body to adapt gradually like with 4 seasons.
However, one can’t be prepared for the unexpected, though we can picture approximately in our minds what unexpected scenarios might take over.
It’s a win-win technique that works some for me.
I had the proof last night: a heavy storm advisory was in place.
I didn’t want to stand the chance and went to bed with an extra sleeping pill.
Until the storm hit.
I woke up immediately in panic and couldn’t get back to sleep.
It wouldn’t have happened had I processed the warning before lying down.
So, how does event-processing work?
Weekly planning is a startup.
Sure, circumstances can change suddenly, but having an ‘emergency plan’ handy can save your day/night.
I won’t go any longer to bed prompted by exhaustion only.
Half hour of time-processing is worth the effort.
The same can be said for social events.
Socializing is both craved and draining in Autism and ADHD.
Once again, Masking to conform is the main stressor.
The major concern with Masking is Pleasing-Overwhelm, in other words, Conforming.
I said multiple times how Masking is short-lived.
If you really can’t avoid it, having an Emergency Plan, ‘Exit Strategy’ in psychology, is crucial.
‘Exit’ speaks alone.
We’re never alone in a social setting, soon or later, the Mask will drop. Disengaging temporarily from the group, allows us to recharge.
There are hundreds means of kindly disengaging: the most common is setting a Time-frame. If the pressure builds up suddenly, have an excuse ready.
Last week, I attended a concert with my wife and her friends.
The heat in the Concert-Hall was sweltering, although the music made up for them: Europeans and Asians have different temperature-thresholds.
I excused myself and went out half hour. No offence taken, the night ended smoothly despite Social Jet-lag the morning after.
Acceptance is always the action of choice.
