Tag Archive for: Trauma

Loneliness in Neurodivergence

Loneliness is either mystical or traumatic.

I dread loneliness, it paralyzes me.
I can’t live without my wife.
I have abandonment issues.

Is Abandonment a trauma?
It certainly is for me.
Others are comfortable with loneliness, they experience a sense of freedom and introspection.
As you can discern, it s a multifaceted subject.

We all desire ‘some time alone’, it’s detoxing and beneficial.
Isolation is always imposed and psychotic, despite seen as mysticism by some.
Mysticism and Hermitage are very distinct: the hermit withdraws from society, the mystic chooses to live in a remote place in order to avoid materialism by offering stays to pilgrims in search of inner peace.
Mysticism is not isolation.

Abandonment is always of traumatic nature, not a choice.
It’s the cruelest possible perpetration, especially towards the mentally disable.
The Neurodivergent need someone to rely on.
Never abandon.


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Mental Brokenness

Neurodivergence from a traumatic perspective.

Brokenness is rooted in the past, although we experience it in the present.

Nowadays, psychology is abused by unqualified, self-proclaimed therapists and life-coaches, primarily accounting for former Social Workers with basic skills in Crisis Intervention, their first appeal to many NDs who lost trust in Mental Health Professionals.

Medical insurances don’t cover these holistic practices for lack of scientific evidence, yet the law allows them to operate as in private facilities.

There are four responses to brokenness as described by psychologists:
Denial, Distraction, Sadness and Despair, ultimately culminating in Mercy-seeking.
Charlatans know it well: they sell Mercy.
Why not Professionals?
In this instance, we must enter the sensitive field of Medical Ethics.

Doctors must show empathy without getting emotionally involved with patients.
Have you ever wondered why doctors can’t treat their family members…?
Unfortunately, some Mental Health Professionals fail to compartmentalise these two skills, in so becoming apathetic and encouraging patients to look for unhealthy alternatives.

Denial and Distraction have a lot in common, the former being a Delusion, the latter a Coping strategy.
Eventually, Sadness takes over.
The last stage of Sadness is Despair.

Brokenness has a different chemistry from Clinical Depression.
MDD is characterized by hopelessness and it’s not necessarily post-traumatic.
Brokenness is always the outcome of past Hurt, a form of ‘mystical PTSD’: sufferers have normally a solid faith that keeps them going, but not always in the right direction. 
They’re easily lured in search of Mercy.

Mercy has multiple implications for the mentally ill: it is the Longing to be heard, to be healed, for empathy.
Very few can find real mercy in holistic practices, if not just for the fees…

I wish Professionals would show empathy to their clients, in addition to coldly prescribing the latest treatment.

That could make the difference.

Neurodiversity can manifest overly introverted or extroverted. 
It can be upsetting to the NT who must put in a lot of effort to empathize with the ND by Listening non-judgementally, through impersonating into their mindset.
It is no secret that the mentally unstable crave for Attention.

We hear all the time about celebrities with multiple diagnoses of BPD, Bipolar, ADHD, ASD……, eventually claiming of having been misdiagnosed, nonetheless a component of the show-business for glamour, take it with a large grain of salt, I’m yet to see a neurotypical celebrity.

Some neuroscientists regard Psychiatry as pseudoscience struggling to keep a foothold, before getting inevitably embodied into Neurology.
Thankfully, psychiatrists know a good deal of neurology, they are MDs with a solid pharmacological orientation.
I’m positive about the integration with brain-circuitry oriented Neurology.






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Mindsets

Changing location has the potential of adopting a new approach to life. In my case, home. I’m not in the clear mindset to make life-changing decisions outside my comfort zone.

I’m very nostalgic these days.

That raises the question whether memories are of any good.

To me, they are good motivationally but also depressing.

Only ECT can erase them permanently not without a bunch of side-effects like general amnesia. 
I’m still not sure about it. 

What good does it make recalling traumatic events?

I’ll see once settled in my country with a new mindset.

I have a personal belief that Autism could result from trauma, hence removing past memories could make me in a brand new person.
I endured tons of traumas. 

However, a new mindset is what I need right away in order to take life-changing steps.

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Envy or Anger

Anger can take many forms, although it is oftentimes the result of trauma and abuse.

Anger is very individual.

To me, it s primarily Envy and Regret.

I regret growing up in the 80s when teachers didn’t have any mental-health training to recognise Autism and ADHD. 

I envy today’s children who are identified with learning disabilities in early life and put on special-needs education.

Back in the day, you were put on abuse….

I’ll never forget the trauma my entire life.


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Fear reflection/Christmas

Festivities are always hard on autists. In particular, Christian festivals.

It’s no surprise that holidays are overwhelming for autists.

I’m scared of Christmas.

I miss home and the balmy Mediterranean weather.
Christmas 2019 is my last happy memory before Covid hit.

The world will never be like before again.
This pandemic literally changed everything, from people to politics.

My only consolation is hearing from happy people, although Christmas is just spiritual to me and devastating.

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Reminiscences

Reminiscences are afterthoughts of memories. In most cases they are of traumatic origin.

Reminiscences are deep memories that leave a mark, either good or bad.

Memories come and go at any time.

Reminiscences are mostly common from mid-life and stored permanently.
That explains why the elderly better recall the past vs the present.

Another way to look at it, is seeing reminiscences as an afterthought of memories.

It’s virtually unlikely having reminiscences in our teens, those would account for trauma.

Trauma must be treated accordingly thus belonging to an independent category of mental illness, most likely PTSD.

Reminiscing is not a mental disorder.
We all do past 40/50.

I reminisce the late musician David Bowie who passed in 2016 at 69.
I grew up with his music in the 80s.
He s deemed the most influential glam-rock artist of the 70/80s.
His legacy will never end.
There are hundreds fan-groups dedicated to him on all social networks.

Up until his death, I had beautiful memories of his.
After his death, those memories turned into sad reminiscences.

I question myself if it is correct to make departed celebrities live eternally on this earth…
David Bowie withdrew from the public sphere long before his death in 2004 at 57.
He stated of wanting to spend his last years with his family.
He had not stopped touring since the 70s.
He gave enough, he desired some time alone.

In his last track ‘Lazarus’, he sings 

 ♪Look up here, I m in Heaven, everybody knows me now!

Could it mean: “Remember me in Heaven!”…….

R.I.P Starman


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