Depression always follows my happiness. Or it could be that I don’t know happiness. Living is a daily battle.Happiness does exist though you must battle for it.Worst of all, it’s never permanent and short-lived.Would you call that ‘happiness’?Something you know it will be followed by sadness. Some will say “enjoy the moment”.I’d rather say “enjoy […]
It’s important to recognize the early signs of a meltdown and abate it in it’s tracks. Don’t stand the chance. You can’t make it alone if you get panic. Benzodiazepines can help as soon as hyperventilation occurs, lying down with some soothing music. You should start feeling better in 15 minutes, stay calm. Always have […]
I need a reason for self-care. Without a reason, pleasurable self-care takes the place of forced hygienic labor. In short, necessity. I need to be in the right place to celebrate or else. Today I declined an hairdresser appointment.I do things for a purpose only. Besides, I look good long haired, it s more about renewal, […]
Festivities are always hard on autists. In particular, Christian festivals. It’s no surprise that holidays are overwhelming for autists. I’m scared of Christmas. I miss home and the balmy Mediterranean weather.Christmas 2019 is my last happy memory before Covid hit. The world will never be like before again.This pandemic literally changed everything, from people to […]
Consequences of Christmas stress on autists. It’s no surprise that holidays are overwhelming for autists. Living in a non-Christian country as a Christian, Christmas takes the form of Confusion to me: I feel out of place, I can’t get organized, I get depressed, homesick… These are also the shortest days of the year with sunset […]
Political instability and increasing cost of life add to Christmas stress. Christmas and another year, in business jargon ‘dead-ends’, everything but a soothing reminder. I hoped till the last minute to make it to Europe. Awareness setting in. God is not done with me yet.At this stage I entrust fully to Him.There is no time for […]
Feeling out of place. This weekend we enter Advent Season. I love Christmas but not in a Pagan country. As usual, this will be the worst time of year to me. I will argue with my wife for not going to Church.I will argue for not being in my Christian country on the coast.I will […]
Dark times are mostly personal. We can experience darkness in the face of light still, acknowledging the moment s highs. A distressing battle between good and evil. I read an article on the 80s, the decade I grew up in.Despite being my darkest years, there s a big revival currently of the 80s, deemed the […]
Reminiscences are afterthoughts of memories. In most cases they are of traumatic origin. Reminiscences are deep memories that leave a mark, either good or bad. Memories come and go at any time. Reminiscences are mostly common from mid-life and stored permanently.That explains why the elderly better recall the past vs the present. Another way to look […]
You can reclaim your youth anytime. The 80s were my childhood years, how cool they were yet not being able to make the most of them: little to nothing was known of Autism/ADHD back then, at least in the school system. But music helped me.Although clubs and concerts could be overwhelming, I transformed my room […]
