I just celebrated my birthday and wish I could sink. I see no purpose in Celebrating birthdays by stereotypes: cake, blowing candles as reminders of age, clinging glasses, and countless dreaded pictures. The bad news is that birthdays are normally social events organized by friends and family in a surprising, unexpected fashion to which we […]
Conflict-avoidance reverses Anger to Validation. I’ve been talking a lot about Triggers and Defensiveness. It is clear that Defensiveness is a byproduct of Anger. Some psychiatrists see Defensiveness and Anger as a single emotion. Counter-validating is not giving up your standpoints, it’s a way of avoiding triggers as part of Anger management.We can keep Anger at bay, […]
Anger can take many forms, although it is oftentimes the result of trauma and abuse. Anger is very individual. To me, it s primarily Envy and Regret. I regret growing up in the 80s when teachers didn’t have any mental-health training to recognise Autism and ADHD. I envy today’s children who are identified with learning […]
Gaining trust is challenging for neurodivergents. We are often misunderstood. It is vital setting boundaries and responsibilities in relationships between neurotypicals and neurodivergents. My wife often tells me that I shout.It’s not shouting for me but mirroring emotions. I’ve been shouted at all my life. I never get emotional with the purpose of offending.Raising the voice […]
It’s best for neurodivergents to let trusted people do the first step. Yesterday I relaxed with my wife after an emotional weekend. You’ll remember my resolution of avoiding to start tasks on my own.→ ASD/ADHD vs Neurotypical Standards The logic is, if my wife takes the initiative, I will comply without debates.I’m anti-conflict by nature. […]
We are all unique and worthy. That can lead to confrontation. However, we can change confrontation to peaceful resolution with a funny sense of humor. So I’ve been told I m not good at house-chores by my wife: men and women have different standards in house-chores. Laundry is one of mine, a time-dependent chore.I collect […]
There are anti-bullying techniques. Do not underestimate yourself. The Autonomous Nervous System is composed by the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Systems which literally FIGHT with each-other in Autism, whereas they BALANCE each-other in Neuro Normal Merit Standards. The ‘Fight or Flee Sympathetic effect’ is predominant in Autism.There’s little the Parasympathetic System can do once we’re upset.Avoiding triggers […]
Autistics are often misunderstood. That can lead to verbal abuse and meltdown. Most of the time, we just want to be heard. Listening without judgement takes time and effort though it abates conflict. I suffer for others and I am misunderstood for that.People think I want to be always in control.It’s my way of prioritizing, […]
Triggers are the precursors of Anger. Anger is the first reaction to disappointment. Yesterday I was very disappointed.However, I’m well aware of the uselessness of anger.Why do we get angry?Anger is a Sympathetic Nervous System’ s reaction to stress and Triggers.Triggers-Stress-Sympathetic Nervous System.The bad news is that the Sympathetic Nervous System is Autonomous, meaning we have no control over […]
Trust requires lots of commitment. We can only trust genuinely by ‘Entrusting’ our neighbor to God who will remove our doubts and misconceptions. By trusting God, we will trust fully our entrusted neighbor. God never lies. Trust doesn’t come easy.In fact, it’s not of human nature. Friendship is our interpretation of Trust, although two different […]
