Self-denial

Self-denial is my way of self-identifying at a distance.

When I m unproductive, I work on making my neighbour happy.
I believe in “Giving to Receive”.

There are days when I run out of inspirational resources and there’s nothing I can do for myself. Conversely, there’s always something we can do for others.
In media jargon, it’s called ‘Networking’, although I favour ‘Altruism’.

Today I have negative thoughts.
I can only think of home, I worry about my autistic brother.
What can I do from here?

A video call will clear up my Thoughts by giving me Peace of Mind.
In the meantime, I’ll make my brother happy.

Humans always need excuses…

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Communication’s barriers

Face-to-face communication is always more effective. 

Speaking the same language with people of different races is translated culturally. Communication is amazingly 70% bodily and only 30% verbal. Don’t confuse Globalization with Communication. Learn the culture of the people before jumping to conclusions, even more so in our technological age.

Communication is not just about language.
It’s about culture first and foremost.
The same word in the same language is conceptualized in different backgrounds.

Linguists define the practice ‘Inculturation’.

Today I was explaining the meaning of ‘neurodiversity’ to my wife.
After a heated discussion, we came to the conclusion that we were talking of the exact same thing.

Globalization is not Conceptualization.
This is where social media fail.
The same language speaks differently to different cultures.

Speaking in person is always preferable.

When communicating online, it is important to run a pre-screening on the country we are going to exchange with.


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Compromise and ADHD

Reward is an indispensable component of my daily life.

Work is the most common form of reward, these days.
The neurotypical spend more time at work than at home, sadly.

I like my job however, reward runs in a different direction for me: I need my post-work reward.

Matching work with entertainment entails two main obstacles: preferences and time, even more so, in an interracial marriage.
You’ll have to assume that work and reward go hand-in-hand in this country where I live with my wife.
I fully love my wife, despite differences exist in all couples.
Respectfully arguing is constructive and inevitable.

Our timetables are very changeable. 

Home serves as relaxation to me, Homework is out of the question.

For my wife, home is a personal clinic: she would organize for the next day, soak in the bathtub for two hours, hit the bed to watch a movie at 10pm, my sleeping time, since I need at least 8 hours of rest.

Solution???
COMPROMISE = Respectfully Arguing= one night for you, one night for me.
And a lot of patience.
The only Alternative is staying Single.

No Solution is better or worse, cultural and religious beliefs are the main motivators in living’ status.
The general stereotype is still the Family as in Marriage.
All religions support Marriage in Family. 
Many young people support cohabitation, recently.

Avoiding judgement is paramount in the topic.
Giving advice is always a wise move.




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Work and Money in ADHD

Reward is a powerful antidepressant.

I need Reward for everything.
Money has become an imposed motivator in our society.

Middle-age is the most demanding period of life, Volunteering is a rare option.
I love volunteering, although I can’t afford it at this time.
I did a lot of rewarding voluntary work in my youth.

Working for money only, is demotivating.
Sadly, Work is a mere necessity for most people, these days.
The infamous ‘wake-up call’ is always ready to wreak havoc in your dreams.

Despite having a rewarding job, I can’t save any money following a post-Covid bankruptcy. My savings go to repaying my debts.
On top of that, I m not credit-friendly, I utterly refuse credit-cards, the biggest financial sharks. I have seen people losing everything to credit-cards’ expenses.
I live on what I have.
Hope and Faith keep me going.


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Media Isolation

The downsides of technology have proven stronger than the benefits. It is no longer a generational thing. 

We’re experiencing an Internet meltdown for the last few days and I feel isolated.
I never felt that way in my youth.

Internet started as a valuable resource in the mid-90s just to turn into slavery.

I had my first cellphone at 30 without regret, they were the best years when I knew where to find my friends at any time of day or night in 24 hours’ London, UK.
Friendship was in a different realm: starting a conversation with strangers was absolutely normal and welcomed in a British pub.
Everybody was a friend even for one night.

Nowadays, one has to make friends online first, eventually in real life after long exhausting chats.

The question is whether adaptation comes easier than imposition.
Recent studies on teen-agers showed a reduction in anxiety after few weeks off social media and more interest in life activities.
Internet has gone out of control too quickly.

My take is that Imposing has always a negative effect on Mental Health.
It leaves no options.
I believe my generation is more flexible since we went through the process of Adapting.


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Camaraderie

 It is difficult for neurodivergents to experience Camaraderie, despite the longstanding way. Camaraderie is Acceptance throughout Belonging, Loyalty, Fellowship, highly valued societal gifts.

I was talking recently of the years we grew up in.
We use to refer to those imprinting times as ‘generations’.
New Generations typically borne every 20 years, the average lifespan of Youth.
I’m not sure whether that’s a biological or cultural thing, or a combination of the two.

We look for protection in our 20s, the time when personality is forming and each decade is characteristic, be it in music, fashion, politics…

My generation-80s- is being deemed the most influential of the last fifty years.
Those were the days when most subcultures were born: the Gothic, the New Romantic, the New Wave, to mention some post-Punk movements.

People sharing same ideals naturally aggregate, by so forming a movement, party, fellowship, club.
Fellow members feel protected and heard.

Neurodivergents seek protection.
Needless to say, I joined the Goth movement in my teens.

The melancholic, soothing notes and atmosphere, the sense of belonging, captured me immediately.
There was no judgement, exclusion, just a warm camaraderie.

It’s not true that autistics are self-absorbed, they don’t know how to express their craving to belong.

Music is the most powerful outreaching means: notes have no words, thus activate brain circuits involved in thought-processing.
Words are the result of thought-processing, what makes a song, words put in music, so-called ‘lyrics’.

Sure, social media help to connect with all the world, although I was born in ‘the physical age’… that makes me feel extremely lonely and homesick.


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Equality

Acceptance is the key to a successful global society.

Our society is still funded on the principle of Adaptation rather than Equality. I find adaptation discriminatory. 

Today I came across an article about Equality, stating that our society is not set for it. No political ideology will ever achieve full equality.
Corruption is a byproduct of Equality, no surprise whatsoever.
What stood out to me, was how the author strongly advocated for ‘adaptation’.
I totally disagreed.
I advocate for a 100% equal, no corrupt society, where opportunities are accessible to everybody.
Unless the author s definition of adaptation was equality, hardly so.

Although the terms are similar, the connotation is utterly different: ‘Adaptation’ reminisces a number of concepts like humiliation, inferiority, incapacity.
‘Equality’ is bound for acceptance.

Autistics must be accepted by neurotypicals, not adapt to them.
This is reasonable.


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Loneliness in Neurodivergence

Loneliness is either mystical or traumatic.

I dread loneliness, it paralyzes me.
I can’t live without my wife.
I have abandonment issues.

Is Abandonment a trauma?
It certainly is for me.
Others are comfortable with loneliness, they experience a sense of freedom and introspection.
As you can discern, it s a multifaceted subject.

We all desire ‘some time alone’, it’s detoxing and beneficial.
Isolation is always imposed and psychotic, despite seen as mysticism by some.
Mysticism and Hermitage are very distinct: the hermit withdraws from society, the mystic chooses to live in a remote place in order to avoid materialism by offering stays to pilgrims in search of inner peace.
Mysticism is not isolation.

Abandonment is always of traumatic nature, not a choice.
It’s the cruelest possible perpetration, especially towards the mentally disable.
The Neurodivergent need someone to rely on.
Never abandon.


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Wealth

Could ASD be a ‘Claim of Convenience’?

Is Wealth beneficial to neurodivergents? I believe it is background related. It definitely is for those raised in rich families, since the family becomes Comfort Zone. On the contrary, Wealth can build up anxiety in those coming from lower classes. Coincidentally, big financial tycoons happen to be on the autistic spectrum. 

Why can’t we all be wealthy?  
According to world s billionaires, everybody can.
We just need the desire.
Do you agree? I don t.      

The majority of billionaires come from rich families and carry on the legacy.

My emphasis is on how wealth impacts the life of neurodivergents.

The first step in becoming wealthy is Investing.

Investing is a challenge, not a forte in autism, yet inevitable for setting up any business.

Nonetheless, the quest for wealth can lead to mania and inadequacy.

I would do a lot of charity should I be a billionaire. Essentials only, account to me however, essentials are very personal.  
A car is probably the first essential for most people. A house on the coast, well served by public transport, is my priority.

Is wealth indispensable?

The founder of Domino’s Pizza, a multimillionaire and devout practicing Christian, said of wanting to die broke and leave his entire personal fortune to the poor. His heirs will inherit the Domino empire.

     

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Motivation in ASD/ADHD

Hope and Motivation go hand in hand. Same goes for Hopelessness and Depression.

Today I have no motivation.
I’m even wondering why I m writing.
I’m forcing myself to, though I m proud of my determination.

I’m alone and it s raining.
I’m in a hopeless phase.

Luckily, I know it s temporary.

We can’t modify dead ends. 
The term alone is daunting, we have no control over them, although there s a plan and a purpose for everyone.

I dread being alone.

I was shocked by the deaths of Lisa Marie Presley and Sinead O’ Connor, both in their early 50s.
Their deadline was Conversion, they didn’t make it.

My deadline is going home.

There has got to be a reason for each circumstance we find ourselves in. 

What good solitude brings?
I can’t see any.
Man was not made to be alone still, many people are.
I don’t want to be one of them.

People are lonely in this country: their workplace becomes their family.

A patriarchal society: husband coming home at midnight after eating dinner and drinking with colleagues and wife looking after children at home.
Family has a different connotation from my country.

I don’t belong here.

My mission as an expat, is to evangelize through the four apostolic principles:

Listen 
Befriend
Proclaim
Invite 

God got me.

If we don’t pursue freedom, we seek shelter.
I pursue freedom over shelter.

We’re all unique.

One is never really free as a guest, you conform to your host.
Going back to the roots is facing reality with a stronger mindset.

Enough escapism for me.

Trust. Just trust.





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