Tag Archive for: Time

Perfectionism in neurodiversity

Perfection is not humanly designed. Perfectionism is a Mental Disorder underlying other conditions, most commonly ADHD and OCD. The healthy definition of Perfectionism is “Doing the best of your ability.”

Perfectionism is a Delusion.
The human brain is not set to Perfection.
In neurotypicals, the pseudonym “perfect!” refers to “well done!”
“Well done” doesn’t mean “perfect”, it means “good job”.
“Perfect” is just a misused, lazy term.

Unfortunately, the neurodivergent take Perfection to the letter with due consequences: since humans will never achieve perfection, the struggle is real and time consuming. The quest for imaginary perfection takes its toll on Timing. 
This pattern translates Perfection to Failure.

Our society is timely. Everything happens in a Time-setting.
We can’t stop Time because we are mortals.
We can only virtually stop Age as in a  ‘time setting’, “Age is a number…”, a personal attribute, some people feel 85 at 65, others feel 20 at 65…
I feel 30 at 50, nonetheless.

Time and Age are not the same concept: Age is the Result of time, Time is the natural cycle of the planets and depending stars, what astronomers call Orbits. Technically, Time started with the Big Bang for humankind, although latest evidence suggests the existence of a pre-Universe. Anyway, let’s not get into astronomy, knowing that the Earth is 3 billions years old and the Sun has sufficient energy for the next million years, is what matters to humankind.

We can’t sacrifice time for perfection.
Knowing our abilities will keep us on time by giving our best either at work or study. Giving the best will always account for ‘Good Job’ !
Every good educator or boss will acknowledge one’s best effort regardless the score, unlike 30 years ago when only the grades counted, sadly.

I’m not saying that scores don’t count, nowadays, what I mean is that low scores generated by best practices can be implemented, they are never a failure.

One of the greatest visionary musicians of the last 50 years, David Bowie, used to rehearse one time only, no matter what, Perfection was composing a song within 3 days for him, and all his music was a success despite “not perfect”, in his own words. He was no genius, he knew his limits and abilities.

With that quote, I’ll conclude that Time is Perfection in human nature.
Don’t be late…


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Christmas confusion

Consequences of Christmas stress on autists.

It’s no surprise that holidays are overwhelming for autists.

Living in a non-Christian country as a Christian, Christmas takes the form of Confusion to me: I feel out of place, I can’t get organized, I get depressed, homesick…

These are also the shortest days of the year with sunset at 4:30pm.
I always feel like running out of time.
Night is not made for work, biologically.

Self-care is a struggle too, like having an haircut still, I want to look tidy.
I like social. Even my wife is social: it’s not that looks don’t count anymore after marriage, lack of physical attraction is a guaranteed recipe for extra-marital affairs.

Self-care comes at a price: speaking from a man perspective, think the amount of time that shaving and showering takes daily!
Nowadays men spend as much as women in self-care.
We live in an image society, unfortunately.
Good looking people are more likely to be hired than more skilled ugly counterparts.

Sadly, people with mental disorders don’t fare very well in personal hygiene.

Anyway, this is not an article on aesthetics.
I debated the theme since a big means of communication is our body, the so-called ‘body language’.

Can you relate?
What’s your idea of confusion?

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Time in ADHD

Eternity is how the ADHD brain lives up to the Time. 

God created the Universe and humankind in the form of Man and Woman. He connected us to Light and Darkness through the Circadian rhythm, daylight to keep us awake, night-darkness to rest. We created Time, He created Eternity. Does Time exist in Eternity? Eternity is how the ADHD brain lives up to the Time. Like Autism, are we talking of Neurodivergence or Disability? The Church teaches that switching the day for night deliberately is going against God s Design. On the other side, those who work at night for the good of others- emergency workers, hospital staff…- have a special place in the heart of Jesus.
When Science and Faith meet.

Time is my worst nightmare.
Time-management is the main obstacle in ADHD.
Practically, there is no Time for ADHDERS.
Pressure is the definition of Time in ADHD.
Sufferers take actions under pressure, a contributing factor to hyperactivity and quick response.
While this is an advantage in emergency situations, it doesn’t work in organizational strategies. 
Organizing requires Calmness and Thinking, which are time-dependent in nature.
Without medication, ADHDERS hardly stay calm. 

‘To-do lists’ don’t work for me, the stereotypical therapeutic model for ADHD.
I remember my schedules.
Motivation and Reward are my driving tools in addition to stimulant medication.
Journaling is my daily Reward and Relaxation.
I look forward to Journaling, my Sympathetic Nervous System reminds me, no need for lists.
I  ‘appoint’ on my agenda dreaded deadlines only.
As the name implies, Deadlines are always a burden to all, yet inevitable and often forgettable.
To say, everybody suffers from ADHD to a certain degree.

That said, my way of coping with Deadlines is dissecting them into Lines, dedicating a small portion of time every day to them in a monthly format, in so doing, removing the “deadly” component.




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