Homesickness

Medication is indispensable to me in the current circumstances.

I hate waiting.
It’s an almost imposed, consuming rule that we have little control over.
I always want to be in control of myself.
I’m waiting to go home, possibly the worst consuming wait.
I feel like in exile. A prisoner.

I took one Seroquel today to calm down, instead messed up with my ADHD medication.
My attention is all over the place. 

I’ll mention the bad interaction to my psychiatrist next month.
Even modifying meds is a major challenge to me.
I do very bad on antipsychotics.
Self-medicating is one of my compulsions, I m overly biological oriented and supportive of the ‘fast kick in’ largely compelled by ADHD.
I tried CBT to no avail.

I’m extremely territorial, the ideal location is medicinal to me. 
I’m resolute to go med-free at home.