Abuse coping in ASD/ADHD

There are anti-bullying techniques. Do not underestimate yourself.

The Autonomous Nervous System is composed by the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Systems which literally FIGHT with each-other in Autism, whereas they BALANCE each-other in Neuro Normal Merit Standards.

The ‘Fight or Flee Sympathetic effect’ is predominant in Autism.
There’s little the Parasympathetic System can do once we’re upset.
Avoiding triggers is the option of choice.

What can we do when abused verbally?
The obvious answer would be ‘let go’…
How if we are already triggered?

Counter-validating: acknowledging the abuser.
What sounds bad for you, can be rewarding for them.
Bullies look for reward, play their game and disarm them.

This way, there’s no need to be defensive and they will be displaced.
In turn, they will acknowledge your standpoint.
A win-win tactic.

I’m working on that.

You can do it.

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Autistic overloads

Autistics are often misunderstood. That can lead to verbal abuse and meltdown. 

Most of the time, we just want to be heard. Listening without judgement takes time and effort though it abates conflict.

I suffer for others and I am misunderstood for that.
People think I want to be always in control.
It’s my way of prioritizing, I am confident with it.

I don’t like acting on instinct, if I know that I can do something on a better time, I opt to postpone.

People would get mad at me. 
In turn, I get mad. 

I want to be left alone when panicking. 
People would scold at me more instead, thinking to help.

We want to protect you! 
Don’t counterattack and we ll cool in few minutes!
We understand when people are distressed.

That will only add insult, resulting in rocking, mourning and undue sedation.

Respect Autistic Boundaries.

Our boundaries are different. 
In fact, I wouldn’t talk of boundaries but triggers.

I’m an extremely calm, patient, sociable, altruistic person. 

Only a handful of triggers can cause me to dissociate, like impulsiveness, lack of planning, change in routine still, I can adjust in due time and understanding.



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Autistic Triggers

Triggers are the precursors of Anger.

Anger is the first reaction to disappointment.

Yesterday I was very disappointed.
However, I’m well aware of the uselessness of anger.
Why do we get angry?
Anger is a Sympathetic Nervous System’ s reaction to stress and Triggers.
Triggers-Stress-Sympathetic Nervous System.
The bad news is that the Sympathetic Nervous System is Autonomous, meaning we have no control over it. 
The good news is that Triggers can be avoided.

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