Emotional Dysregulation

Autistics and ADHDers have greater empathy than average. Excessive empathy leads to RSD.

RSD stands for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, a symptom of Emotional dysregulation. 
The definition speaks for itself altogether, Dysphoria is Greek for Pain.
Empathy is an Emotion.
Emotions can be processed by Willpower in the neurotypical brain.

Emotional dysregulation has many implications, most commonly Neuronal Signal-disruptions.
Put it bluntly, the brain misinterprets or annihilates perceptions.
A notable example is an inconsiderate tv/radio volume, typical in old age.
In young adulthood, the phenomenon borders chronic Apathy.

However, let’s focus on RSD for now.

RSD is in fact the antonym of Apathy, or too much sensitivity.
Sensitivity in excess is paralysing.
The most visible attitude are healthcare workers: a good doctor, nurse, paramedic, must show empathy to patients, without getting emotionally involved.
This supports my personal theory that Sensitivity has a different set-up in Emotions.

Autistics and ADHDers strive a lot to mask for performance, a short-lived technique leading to Rejection feelings.
We make use of empathy for Acceptance, ultimately resulting in Rejection.

For once in a while, it is worth analyzing how the Neurotypical brain works.

Neurodivergents rely heavily upon their personal background, henceforth lacking impartiality of judgement, in my case being overly intrusive.

The Neurotypical brain values a lot privacy, something I interpret as lack of trust, another definition of RSD.I do recognize the evasive responses of the neurotypical: although they’re not intended for arrogance, I perceive them as painful rejection.
Even more so as Neurodiversity Advocates, we are passionately uninhibited to disclose our innermost thoughts, while expecting likewise from our interlocutors.

We don’t have to assume that neurotypicals are issue-free.
They are just smarter at dealing with problems on their own, therefore neither need help or sharing, yet another interpretation of Rejection in RSD.
‘Pretending’ to be altruistic when not necessary, is outrageous and immoral.
The stereotypical “How are you?” has become a complementary greeting, it doesn’t hurt anyone and is sufficient. They will let us know otherwise if close friends, most likely through body-language.
Know that Language is 70% bodily and 30% verbal.
Distressed body-language is a neurotypical request to reach-out.
That’s when we should calmly push-through.
Everybody has temporary Suffering.

Sensitivity is a spiritual gift, we must learn how best to use it to our benefit and neighbour’s.
In person-meetings over media-chats are preferable between Neurodivergents and Neurotypicals, whenever possible.




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Emotional Deprivation

Memory storage

Memories could be a byproduct of emotions, based on the same cerebral regions where emotions originate, the Limbic System, the core of the brain. All neuronal clusters converge in the Limbic region.

You’ll understand that its anatomy is worth a whole encyclopedia, with millions of neuronal pathways requiring years of study by neuroscientists.
Mental Illness is being studied for centuries, since Man’s life is too short to cover the entire human body, let alone the brain.
Medical science as we know it today, is at a Developmental stage.

Emotions are linked to empathy and bonding.
We can’t feel emotions without Empathy.
In fact, Empathy is an Emotion in itself, with the sole difference that originates from Bonding, the Love-attachment between Parents and Children developing in the first months of life.
Lack of empathy is the result of Parental Neglect.
The logic is that Memory Retention will be disrupted without Empathy.

The altruistic approach of Memory-storage 

Are Memories and Emotions the same combination?
Did it occur to you that memories not associated to emotions are easily forgotten?
I previously talked of my hatred for mathematics, I don’t feel any emotion for numbers, I rely on calculators even for the simplest operations: I know that 10+10=20, I just find Counting rewardless, yet I understand the importance.

Psychiatry defines Empathy as Altruism.
According to this line of thought, Memory-storage would be of altruistic nature.
Healthcare workers are naturally altruistic.
Coincidentally, I can’t see any empathy in Maths teachers.

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 Executive Function in ADHD

The Relationship Between ADHD and Learning Disabilities

The Brain’s Temporal lobe and Limbic System are the areas where all the Learning processes take place.

Learning is the synergy between Memory, Thinking and Acting.
These three skills are referred to in Psychiatry as Executive Function. They are indispensable for learning.
In ADHD, they are dysfunctional to varying degrees.
To make things worse, ADHD is an underlying condition in most cases of Autism.

Once again, we are haunted by the discrimination of Learning Disability.
Can we debunk that disrespectful notion? If not, change terminology?
Nobody, neurotypical or neurodiverse, want to be identified as retarded.
In order to advocate rightfully, we need to do a lot of research backed up by patience and humility.

Working Memory is the precursor of all Learning.
One would expect Thinking, rightly so, though this action won’t produce results if not memorized.
How many times, back in our school day, we went mute during interrogations despite having studied the subject… sadly, 30 years ago, the humiliating response of Mental Health s ignorant teachers was “They all claim to not remember when they didn’t study…”
Just to add insult to injury.

Memory Retention is not a Learning Disability

We’ll have to start with how Memory gets stored, a mechanism not yet fully understood.
We know for sure that there are two types of Memory, short-term memory and long-term memory.
Every memory is first registered in the short-term. For this reason, it is referred to as Information. Unless we have an interest in it, it is quickly forgotten.
The dilemma is that we must remember unpleasant information too.
To date, Repetition is the only solution, though it doesn’t work for me.
Repetition makes me feel stupid.
On the other hand, interesting Information is stored in the long-term at first glance.

I love humanities, I could remember them just by listening.
I hate maths and wasn’t able to perform a sum. 
The mindless approach of my maths teacher was to give me extra homework, in so doing matters worse. I perceived it as a vengeful attempt.
Nowadays, Special Needs teachers would be assigned.

The stage of storing long-term Information is called Retention.

Theoretically speaking, all memory is stored at subconscious level.
Recall is the process of bringing memories at conscious level by Will.

In brief, there are 3 stages of Memory in chronological succession: Registration, Storage, Recall.

Recall is the most common Memory Disorder with potentially catastrophic developments the likes of Amnesia and Dementia in the final stages.

Thinking is the next step to Registration.
Because Registration happens in the short-term, it is easily forgettable in Attention Deficits.
One of the hypotheses of ADHD.

In ADHD, Information switches subjects relentlessly, therefore doesn’t get stored in long-term memory.
Stimulant medication partially enhances focus by targeting dopamine.
Dopamine as in Reward neurotransmitter, would explain Interest-dependent Concentration and Storage.
The efficacy of these medications is fairly good. Their limitation is the daily lifespan, 6/8 hours average after which they wear off, allowing Confusion, Fatigue, Forgetfulness, Irritability, to set in again.
Prolonging the lifespan of these compounds will prevent Sleep, not an option, lack of sleep = dysfunctional concentration.
More research is needed, current data is insufficient.

Acting is the disrupted outcome of irrational Thinking in ADHD and Autism.
Any action taken without Thinking is disastrous.
This is Memory in a nutshell.

I look forward to hearing about your experience.



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Dopamine dysregulation and addictive behavior in ADHD

ADHDers excel at cold decisions. Conversely, they have poor analytical skills. 

New therapies working on Self-regulation, boost Analytical Thinking.

 Is ‘Self-regulation’ the overall strategy? It would seem oversimplistic at first glance, although rightly evidenced by therapists.
Everybody will agree, neurodivergent or not, on the efficacy of Emotional Self-Regulation.
To stand correct, Professionals should emphasize how to achieve Self-Regulation.
Well, after extensive research, I found out the answer, still in the making.

Before going into depth, we must analyze how Emotions work in ADHD, to debunk the notion of “poor analysis”, coincidentally.

Addictive Behavior and Dopamine Dysfunction

ADHDers have naturally Addictive Personalities as result of Dopamine Dysfunction.
How does Dopamine Dysfunction relate?
It’s important to be very straightforward when it comes to Dopamine.
We are all comfortable with the Motivating, Disinhibiting, Feel-good neurotransmitter s definition, not so much with Bodily Cocaine.
In ADHD, Dopamine mimics this heavy stimulant drug, with sudden peak-levels followed by sudden drop-offs. Once the dopamine is absorbed into Receptor-neurons, it is not re-uptaken, leaving the brain starved.
Cerebral starvation is a potential contributor to Addiction, since the brain tries to make out for the missing chemical to no avail. Stimulant Medication is a life-saver, though it wears off in 6/8 hours. 
This explains the excellence in cold-decisions in ADHD, whilst poor Analytical Thinking. It is either too much or nothing. Current medication aims to provide dopamine for the most demanding part of day, not the ultimate solution.

The stage where Self-Regulation comes into play by Crowding-out

ADHD coaches describe Self-Regulation as in Crowding-out.
Crowding-out means  “making space” .
ADHDers process multiple thoughts simultaneously. Thoughts are 70% negative, they hold us back.
We must make space for positive thoughts by getting rid of unhealthy, intrusive, useless, enslaving, trapping thoughts.

The role of the therapist would be giving instructions, whilst the patient works out on their own achieving schedule by selecting positive feelings from negative ones. The therapist can help by giving a general list of most common thoughts to relinquish.

The practice is still being perfected and has a potentially high successful rate.
Medication will continue to be complementary however, with Self-Regulation we will abate the Emotional Crash following the withdrawal syndrome through Willpower.



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Irrational Beliefs in neurodivergence

The concept of addiction

Addictions are Irrational Beliefs, so-called Presumptions in psychology.
Latest findings suggest a distinct correlation between males and females’ onset.

Common causes of addiction

Generally speaking, the main agonists of Addiction are Idolatry, Visuals, Guilt, Relapse and Neurodivergence.
Idolatry and Visuals are related to the natural brain inclination to Curiosity and Imitation. Relapse and Guilt are part of the Recovery Process. Neurodivergence is associated with Vulnerability, Masking and Performance.
Addiction is synonymous with Innocent Presumption, Pride, Arrogance, Self-righteousness.
In brief, pathological Narcissism.
Substances or Lust become godlike Idols for the Addict.

Addictions in males and females

The male brain is visual. The female brain is emotional.
Physical attraction is the initial response of men towards women.
Mannerism comes first in women.
Eventually, these two feelings fuse together in neurotypical couples after the first meeting at face-value. This is an Healthy Imitation, so-called Complementary.

Love and Drug Addiction

The process is the same for addictive personalities, though the Fusion is detrimental to the female character: Physical attraction typically involves Lust and Pornography in the male character, who sees the female partner as Sex slave.
Same goes with substances: Imitation grows parallel to Intimacy.
Cinematography has been eloquent on the subject, with cult-movies the likes of ‘Christiane F.’ and ‘Toxic Love’ between the most popular, all exploring the connection between Love and Addiction.

Love is a Bond, either beneficially or destructively uniting.
Suffering is a component of Love: when we feel deeply connected, we want to share that experience. Addicts are often charismatic in their own ways, perceived as gifts. At this point, we are hooked. Just a female neurotypical minority, usually in their 30 s, therefore more selective and family oriented, would discern the inadequacy of a longtime relationship, either slipping-away or setting firm boundaries. Girls in their mid-20 s are not so smart, personality is not fully defined until 25. Imitation, a subcategory of Learning in Executive Function, takes over in the form of Role-model towards an older partner, combined with strong Camaraderie bordering Behavioral Idolization. The younger person sees the Highs of Addiction only, while failing to acknowledge the painful Withdrawal syndrome.
From their perspective, the addict carefully hides the Lows.
Addiction becomes the outcome of Successful Performance and Wellbeing, even more so for the Neurodivergent.
A vicious cycle.

Once again, the Amygdala is the main source of superior male  ‘Visuospatial skills’.
Visuospatial skills are the ability to turn Images entirely into Emotions.
The male Amygdala is larger in size and 100% activated by Visuals.
The female Amygdala is smaller. Only the left side is activated by Visuals, a more subtle analytic system.
To say, males see a body, females see body-traits, the latter definitely a plus in relationships and selection.
Conversely, males fare better in the battlefield and worse in Addictions.
Pornography is a powerful hook to men, highly destructive financially and socially, yet legal as for tobacco and alcohol, multibillion businesses, coincidentally.
I have come to the belief that Laws are approved by Money… you pay the bail, you walk, at least in the US.

Addiction and Age

In the social-media era, everything travels online.
Children as young as 6, already possess the latest model of smartphone.
Parents see them as safeguards, while in reality they’re the first means of virtual kidnapping through improper use. Visuals, of any kind. Imagine what videos of drug users or nudity can do to the brain of a 6 yo boy…
Surveys report children having watched pornography by 12 on their phones! These are secured addicts in adulthood.

Anyway, it would seem that sex-hormones are responsible for addiction in both sexes, estrogens in women, androgens in men.
From that, the consolidation of the Impersonation as in Imitation of the addicted person within the Love bond.
Close monitoring of friendships by parents is the primary prevention for Addictions in teens, these days, with males the most at risk.
Mature women can be of help in addictions by sincere care without Love bond until the counterpart shows signs of Recovery.
Family supervision is always recommended.
It’s hard to tell, though under-25 should keep distance from addicts.

After all, Addiction is a Illness

Relapse is very much associated with Guilt.
Getting rid of Guilt is the key for sobriety.
Remember, Addiction is a Illness, never be judgemental.
The human brain is naturally addictive. Substance abusers are thought to have less control over their emotions.

Addictions are isolating, territorial and antisocial.
Humans are sociable, we must interact with all kinds of people in daily life.
Substance abusers tend to withdraw from society or to stick to their group.

Cinematography is big on the addiction subject still, it can’t dissuade against.
In fact, it seems to incite more.

We still haven’t fully understood the addictive brain.
Evidence suggests our brain is subconsciously prone to imitating and exploring novelty. We don’t recognize addictive behavior until we’re addicted.

Mental illness makes it all the worse.
That would explain why vulnerable viewers imitate destructive content rather than steering clear from it.
Soothing content is not appealing to addictive personalities, it doesn’t make them numb.
All these people want, is shutting down emotional pain.
They build their own trap and hardly reach out for help alone.

Babsy, the youngest heroin victim at age 14 featured in the real-life drama ‘Christiane F.’, left a note saying “I love too much”.

Could lack of love be the cause of addiction?
Victims always have the best answers… when it is too late.

I hope readers with or without addictions, understood the compassionate approach of this post.
No inquisitive or judgemental comments are meant.
I write from personal experience and background as an EMT.
Addiction is not Crime, it’s a Cry for help.
Everybody must recognize the need to reach out of the most vulnerable.

Empathy is innate, but we must show it, unless we have a Personality Disorder.
NPD, the medical term for Narcissism, or Self-love, is rampant these New Age days where we are encouraged to be our own Gods.

Remember, Addictions are never a free choice.
And recovery is always possible.

You’re not alone.


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Resistance vs Tolerance in Neurodivergence

Pharmaceuticals’ info on Medication is always generic.

Pharmaceuticals will never disclose specific details to consumers and doctors for marketing purposes, most notably Meds-lifespan.
Patients are the first to acknowledge, after few weeks, what professionals don’t say, to their dismay.

There’s no such general consensus on the duration of medications.
Doctors know it.

The lifespan of meds as indicated by manufacturers, is calculated  ‘on body at rest’ and always averaged.
It is mostly unlikely that someone will take a medication in a state of wellbeing.

The current trend in psychopharmacology is XR, as in Extended Release.
XR is calculated in 12 hours, though in real life, the compound is often metabolized within 10 to 6 hours.
This is what defines  “Resistance”, a synonym of Metabolism.

There are hundreds factors affecting Metabolism however, let’s not overlap reactions.
Metabolism is the body Absorbing process of food, vitamins, minerals, medications… its timing varies in each individual.

Stress speeds up metabolism dramatically, the body desperate reaching-out for energy in all directions, last but not least, medication.

I see Tolerance as a bypass of Resistance, not Addiction.
When we get the full benefits of a substance, we don’t develop Tolerance.

I hear all the time from patients: “My medication stopped working”, in contrast to “I’ve been on the same med for 20 years and it works like the first day”.
Since we’re focusing on Mental Health, I ll describe the latter comment as in Mood-Stabilization, hardly achievable for working people in our constant challenging society, though not impossible.
Stable Mood is the criteria used by pharmaceuticals in order to set a med’s active status.
This is very misleading to individuals in leadership positions or students facing challenges on a regular basis. There are ordinary days when meds last longer, or hectic times when they don’t work at all. 
Cortisol and Adrenaline are the main culprits for pushing Metabolism into overdrive.

With that said, what’s the remedy?

Antipsychotics are the only compounds known to slow down Metabolism with side-effects like Weight-gain and Sedation.

More research is needed.

My takeaway is adjusting dosage according to situations.

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Neurodivergent Human Rights

Neurodivergents have a hard time displaying dignity. They are often misunderstood as apathetic.

We all have a dignity, although we often don’t pay attention to it.
We subconsciously disregard dignity in people we dislike or when overcome by anger.

“Do you have a dignity?!” is a stereotypical verbal insult when we are angry at someone.

Dignity is the most humble component of personality, not something to be exhibited.
We must see dignity in our neighbour.
When deliberately displayed, dignity becomes pride.
The winning result is knowing how best to display our personality.

In essence, dignity and pride shouldn’t be displayed, though mutually acknowledged.
Only this way we’ll develop empathy.
Empathy must be displayed towards everyone.

Unfortunately, we re heading to an increasingly individual society.
The good news is that empathy is contagious and never hurts.
Learning good listening skills is a key-step forward towards Empathy.

Empathy is always dignifying and respectful, especially towards the Neurodivergent.
The strongest antidote to discrimination in every social setting.
I should add Empowering too.
Some ‘Neurodiversity-friendly Employers’ are starting to see the real potentials in the Neurodivergent with selected vacancies.
My hope is for a Neurodivergent-friendly society.
Still a long way to go, though increasingly advocated.



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Hypersensitivity in Autism

Autistics cannot read facial expressions?!

I am very sharp at understanding body-language.
I observe facial expressions carefully when I speak, in so easily anticipating counter-outputs.

Neurotypical/Neurodivergent relationship

My wife is often embarrassed by not being able to hide her personal feelings with me. I understand within seconds if her smile is staged or genuine.
Sometimes it helps, others it causes friction. 
Not always, we want to disclose our innermost emotions.

My response is launching in an exhaustive sixth-grade, out of concern: “ Something happened? Are you depressed, angry, worried………?!” 

Until she lets out a desperate “Enough! Bugging me”.
The good news is that she appreciates my concern later on, and thanks me.

I believe the best strategy for a good neurotypical/neurodivergent relationship,  is making use of diversity in balancing emotions.




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My ways are not your ways

You are worthy. Always be open to new opportunities. Your commitment is your success. It will bear fruit in due course. Never stop searching.

In the midst of a nasty hurricane.
What better way to enter a new week and season…

I’m angry and overwhelmed. 

I m suffering at the hands of man. 
We are responsible for recent natural disasters.

I love nature.

It breaks my heart to see how man messed up with Nature, since it is my ultimate refugium peccatoribus, Latin for ‘Refuge of Sinners’.

I want to live and work in contact with nature, not in a booth embedded in a tower-block. 
Spoken like an urban animal… all my life I lived in big metropolises with the fake illusion of a more opened society, just to clash with competition and discrimination.

Surely, there are more opportunities appealing to the young, in a big city.
Healthcare may offer more options.
Culture as well.

I perused all of the above, only nature can carry on my process of healing at this stage.

As a Christian, I know God has a plan for each one of us.
But in His time… that could be the bad news… there is no time for God.

A Priest once told me: 
“Let go of all your heart s desires and make space for Him. Every time you awake is because of Him. You wouldn’t awake anymore should He have no more plans for you on this earth. Even an apparently mindless day to you, it is meaningful to Him.”

We have given a bad name to things like Waiting, i.e. Laziness.
What’s wrong with dedicating the whole day to prayer? Surely NOT wasted time. 
Truth is, I am more fruitful after a so-called ‘unproductive day.’
A regular working-day could turn out unproductive.
As far as you try your best, it’s not! 
A good manager will see your commitment. 
If they don’t, it’s not part of God’s plan for you and new doors will open.

That s how I m learning to discern my Time as an AUdhd man.
Definitely not a wasted day, despite the merciless weather.



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Revenge and Forgiveness

Neural Pathways are activated in Forgiving. 

Forgiveness has two ethical antonyms, Moral Relativism and Moral Absolutism, the former Cultural, the latter Universal. The commonality is that Forgiveness is not only a Free-Will as previously thought, but the outcome of Brain-circuitry, mainly through Emotional Amyloid Activation. Since the Amygdala is part of the Autonomous Nervous System, voluntary Activation turns into Overdrive with inconsiderate, potentially harmful, vengeful consequences towards the offender. Any feeling of Revenge must be addressed to Professionals who will contact Law-Enforcement, should the threat become intentional. The new definition of Forgiveness is letting go of Revenge. Past Hurt will lurk indefinitely in long-term memory however, erasing Revenge promotes Peace and Recovery.

So, can we still talk of Forgiveness in lay terms?

On a further level, has Forgiveness ever existed? Surely not, as redefined these days in psychology. Christianity has always defined Forgiving as  “Commanding your offender to God”, to signify that it is ultimately His exclusive responsibility. “Commanding” is all He asks from us, yet even Commanding seems insurmountable when we are consumed by Revenge.
By refusing that context, we have coined the stereotype “I will never forgive!”, whereas Commanding would be the correct term.

Basically, both psychology and religion are affirming the same concept: Relinquishing resentments.

Moral Relativism vs Moral Absolutism

The practice is aggravated by two different cultural models: Moral Relativism and Moral Absolutism. The terminology speaks for themselves. Relativism is an individual choice. Absolutism is a universal choice, leaving no room for personal opinion, a dogma linked primarily to Biblical teachings, the way to go for practicing Christians. Relativism is primarily of Agnostic origin, leaving free interpretation of what is right or sinful, strongly cultural. 
No judgement here, you know what works best for you, the goal is Relinquishing Anger.

The Brain Processing of Anger

MRI scans have shown the formation of new Neural Pathways in subjects during Commanding, a process named Neuroplasticity, meaning Brain-Rewiring.
Letting go of Revenge showed decreased Amyloid activity, promoting Emotional Regulation and Empathy in a general sense of wellbeing.
Conversely, angry subjects showed an overreacting Amygdala, resulting in feelings of counter-hurting, violence and generalized rage.
I understand Revenge doesn’t heal overnight, though Willingness is a start.

Let go of your anger

New Neural pathways start forming the very moment we are set to relinquish, making the journey gradually easier.
Everybody can do it, once we understand the Benefits over Retaining.
Counseling may be mandatory in heavy traumatized patients in the initial stages.
Family and friends should be empathetic and encouraging, avoiding unnecessary pressure. Giving testimony is the most powerful tool, Evidence is never triggering and strongly engaging.

Overall, be a good Listener and Witness.

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