Tag Archive for: Boundaries

ADHDers are people-pleasers.

Saying No is more difficult than saying yes in ADHD.
YES has a rewarding effect in ADHD, since we please the recipient.
Pleasing is always reciprocated, a double-edged Reward.

ADHDers will take countless commitments until burnout.

The attitude can fit in Time-blindness for Reward.
I said multiple times “There is no time in ADHD”.

Declining a request takes time and effort.
Altruism and Empathy run high in ADHD too.

ADHDers are heavily dependent on medication and counseling.
The condition is NOT a gift, Reward is always followed by Crash once medication wears off, the reason subjects don’t want to sleep.
Despite that, plenty of sufferers describe the disease as fantastic, sister Autism likewise.
I certainly don’t.

Most importantly, I know when to say Yes or No.

Commitments are not Pleasers.
Every commitment comes with boundaries.
ADHDers struggle to say No because they don’t know their boundaries.

Boundaries are gentle means to say No.
They re-enforce our Commitment.

 Boundaries vs Pleasing.

  • I’m very interested in your offer, although I need to balance family and job. I would consider a part-time position. 
    COMMITMENT 
  •  I’m available for daily overtime. 
    PLEASING. Unrealistic, exploitative.

The message to ADHDers is simple:
Know your limits and schedules.

Boundaries come with Harmony, another name for Peace. Sharing responsibilities is the formula for a successful marriage.

Disorganization is very upsetting to me, equal to not recognizing one s limitations.

I need my space in marriage.
That leads to arguments with my wife.

Autistics necessitate a peaceful space to live in.
There is no harmony where we live now.

Without harmony, there is no peace.